The Captive Herald
by trallgorda
Summary: Herald Ronan goes to the country of Ashten as an ambassador, but once there, will he be able to return to Valdemar?
1. Chapter 1

The Captive Herald

Chapter 1

Herald Ronan and his Companion, Kira, were trotting along through Iftel at a good clip, feeling as if the trip couldn't be going better.

"I think I like this," Ronan said, scratching Kira's crest. "We're seeing the world, and we get to spend six months as ambassadors in Iftel's neighbor of Ashten. Only twenty-five years old and here I am, going everywhere and meeting everybody."

_:Don't get too complacent, Herald:_ Kira admonished. _:We know very little about Ashten except that the language is similar to that used by Iftel.:_

"Well, that's why we're going there," he reminded her. "To learn more and report back what we learn."

_:And because yourIftellan is the best out of anyone's in the Heraldic Circle:_ she said sounding rather proud of him. :How _you learned to swear in that tongue when no one ever dared do so around you is beyond me.:_

"They didn't know I was around when they were swearing," he told her. "They never noticed the little runt in the corner of the room."

_:You are _not _a little runt:_ she snapped at him. _:I think you are adorable and cute and absolutely precious.:_

He laughed, leaning down to hug her neck. "Ah, thank you, love," he said, giving her a little kiss. Kira had a great deal of maternal instincts, and most of them were lavished on her Herald. Many would have thought that these instincts would have interfered with her relationship with her Herald, but they did not. No, she was motherly only when he sought her out, needing to be comforted, and the rest of the time, she let her Herald learn from his mistakes and guided and advised him only when it was necessary.

_:Well, you are, and you are still as lovely as that little boy I Chose fifteen years ago.:_

Ronan smiled at that. He had been an orphan, living with the town's old spinning-woman who had taken him out of a sense of "duty" to the town. He hadn't been happy with her, but during the five years he'd been with her, he'd learned how to read, write, cipher, and take care of himself. If he was neglected in any way, it was emotionally. He had shown signs of what he now knew to be Thought-sensing and Empathy, and being Chosen as a Herald-Trainee had confirmed him in his Gifts and taken him to Haven.

They both remembered the day Kira had come to his tiny hamlet. He had been outside, weeding the garden, and he'd heard the hooves of a horse behind him. Hearing it draw _very _close, he got to his feet and turned, trying to see where it was, but a white shape with blue eyes rose up before him, and once he had looked into those eyes, he'd been lost.

_:Hello, Ronan:_ he'd heard. _:I've found you at last, my little love. I Choose you.:_

"Do you remember what Granny said when she realized I'd been Chosen?" Ronan asked, fighting down a chuckle.

_: 'Are you at least going to finish the garden before you go, or is an old woman going to have to do it herself?':_ Kira teased, laughing.

"Then the town declared they would help her and sent me on my way," Ronan finished, ending a dialogue they often had several times whenever they wanted to laugh.

Being Chosen had meant an entirely new life for Ronan. Living at the Collegiumunder thepresent King, who wasthegreat-grandson of Selenay,Ronan hadfelt as if he'd been dropped into the deep end of a lake he didn't know how to swim. Insecure except with Kira, he'd had a difficult time feeling at home with all the other Trainees at first, but once he realized that they accepted him wholeheartedly, he had gained dozens of Heraldic "siblings." Older Heralds, teachers and others he talked to, began to advise and admonish him when necessary, much like parents. Most older Heralds found his large blue eyes, mop of curly black hair, and adorable and wistful face irresistible, so he had been given as much affection as he could handle. According to Adain, the King's Own, he'd literally blossomed in response, transforming from a shy Trainee to a competent young Herald who could handle _any_ diplomatic or administrative duties, no matter how difficult. That, in addition to his Empathy and Thought-sensing, made him the ideal candidate to send to Ashten, despite his being much younger than the usual envoy.

"Do you think we're almost there?" he asked for what had to be the thousandth time that day.

_:It's another day to the Iftel-Ashten border:_ she reminded him. _:So _no_, we are not there or almost there. Once we pass the border, it's two days to the capitol.:_

"I wish we were there now," he sighed. "As much fun as traveling is, I would like to be there and learning all there is to know about Ashten."

She whickered, sounding as eager as he was. He didn't realize that it wouldn't be long before he learned much more than he wanted to know.

Space

Ashten, they were discovering, was a beautiful land. Mountains, rivers, fields, and forests seemed to be the terrain they could expect. They used the main roads, often seeing nothing more than a few villages during the day, but as they drew nearer to the capitol city of Hedena, the towns became bigger.

They reached Hedena just as the sun was setting on their second day in Ashten. They reached the top of a rise and stared down at the city, seeing it sprawl almost to the horizon.

_:It's. . .huge:_ Kira said, staring at the lights of the city. _:It's even bigger than Haven.:_

"I know," Ronan almost-whispered, trying to fight down a growing feeling of panic. "Once we get in there, how will we know where to go? I can see the palace from here, but it might be difficult to find once we're on the streets."

Kira thought for a minute. _:Is there a map in those letters that were sent to you:_

He pulled them out and began to study them. Once his position as envoy had been confirmed, the Dean had given him a packet of papers. One wasa letter from the Ashten monarch, requesting an envoy in return for her ambassadors sent to Valdemar. Another letter was the way he would be identified by the guards at the palace, and the third was a letter entitling him to anything he needed in Ashten. There was no map of the city to be found.

_:Someone's coming:_ Kira said, pricking up her ears. _:Three riders, and they're all wearing uniforms.:_

Ronan tucked the papers away inside his tunic and sat up straight in the saddle, trying to resemble a proper ambassador.

"Herald Ronan?" the rider in the leadsaid,speaking in aheavilyaccented Iftellanas theydrew nearthe Herald and Companion. Heavily accented, but completely understandable. Ronan began to thank all of the dieties watching out for him.

"Yes?"

"We are your guides from the Hedena Guard," the man explained. "I am Captain Aldiss, and on behalf of Her Majesty, Queen Storena, I welcome you to Ashten and Hedena."

Ronan bowed slightly from the saddle in acceptance, and worded his own politegreeting and expressions of gratitude. Once the formalities hadbeen disposed of, Captain Aldissstayed by Ronan's side while the two accompanying riders fell back, flanking them.Once they were so arranged, they rode into thecity.

Space

The Palace was a complex just as large as the one in Haven. Theyhad ridden through the city and several times Ronan began to feel completely lost. According to what Captian Aldiss told him, the city wascircular, and each district was shaped like a wedge of pie. You had the Merchants' Wedge, the Market Wedge, the Scholars' Wedge, the Nobles' Wedge,theSmall Wedge, andat theapex ofall the wedges, you had the palace. If he ever became lost, the Captain told him, all that would be needed would be for him to point himself toward the center of the city and head in. Eventually, he would reach the Palace.

The Palace looked like a bunch of different buildings that had been cut up and stuck together to make one large, mismatched building. Every four generations, a monarch was requiredto add to the Palace, and every four generations, building styles and preferences had changed, leadingto a very patchwork effect. All the different wings of thebuilding were devoted to different Guilds that were responsible for public services. The types ofGuilds handled everything to do with all walks of life:There was a HealingGuild, a Builders' Guild, a Writers' Guild,a Merchants' Guild,aPriests' Guild, a Music Guild, an Artists' Guild, and soon. ThePalace provided a place where all the guilds couldmeet without crowding in their ownquarters, and it allowed the queen to keep an eye on the proceedings.

"Do you follow me so far?" Captain Aldiss asked politely as they rode through thePalace gates.

"I think so," Ronan said thoughtfully. "There is just one thing I don't understand. Whatis the Small Wedge? Who livesand works there?"

"The Small Wedge is where the city's poor live," Captain Aldiss explained. "They are a varied lot, so they end up together. They are people who do not really fit in."

Ronan nodded. That seemed to be the case of cities everywhere.

They dismounted in the courtyard, and Ronan asked to see Kira's accomodations.

_:I don't mind the stable, but I would prefer to come and go as I please_: she said, eyeing the lock onthe large box stall that had been prepared for her.

_:I'll tell them, love:_ he said, scratching her poll. He relayed the messge to Captain Aldiss and received a very strange look, but he assured him that it would be taken care of.

Once that was taken care of, Ronan groomed Kira from nose to tail and poll to hoof, getting filthy in the process.

_:That's one bad thing about country roads:_ he thought to Kira as he curried her up. _:Dust, dust, dust, and more dust.:_

_:I'm just glad it isn't mud, mud, mud:_ she thought, obligingly lifting one hoof when he pulled out the hoofpick.

_:Too right.:_

Ronan finished, filled her feed and water buckets himself, and spread an extra bale of straw for her comfort. He knew that she always liked a soft bed.

_:Ahh: _she said as she dropped and rolled in the straw. _:Ohh, that's perfect. Remind me to nuzzle you later.:_

"I will," he promised aloud, getting another strange look from Captain Aldiss.

Once Kira declared herself comfortable, Captain Aldiss led him inside to his quarters. A sitting room and study, small dining room, bedroom, and his own private bathing room left Ronan feeling slightly intoxicated with all of the space he had to himself. He'd been introduced to his servant, a boy called Neran, who would be cleaning his rooms, fetching and carrying for him, and doing whatever else was needed.

Once Captain Aldiss was satisfied that Ronan was satisfied, Ronan began to get a bath ready for himself. Neran was surprised, but he accepted Ronan's request that he go for the night, since he was tired and was sure he wouldn't want anything but his bed.

The boy bowed. "Very well, Herald Ronan," he said, giving the older man a grin. "I thank you. I've been up since before dawn, getting everything ready for your arrival. There's supper in the dining room, and it will be warm and ready when you are. I'll have your clothes and things put away in the wardrobe, and your bed will have a warming pan if you want it."

"That sounds lovely," Ronan said, pulling off his boots. "Thank you, Neran."

Neran simply bowed and headed off.

Ronan scrubbed up and soaked out the aches of riding, and, once he was clean, changed into his nightclothes. He wouldn't be meeting the queen or anyone else tonight, no, he would meet them tomorrow at Court. He sat down the supper that had been provided, and he had a certain feeling that he would be eating very well. There had been soup, pastries filled with egg, cheese, bacon, and spinach, steamed vegetables, and a dessert that left him feeling weak in the knees when he finished it. Above all else, he loved sweets.

He found a letter on his desk in the study portion of the sitting room, and he recognized the seal: The Queen had sent him a letter.

_Dear Herald Ronan,_ he read.

_I welcome you to the Palace, and I hope that your journey here has been pleasant. I look forward to meeting you on the morrow, and I hope that you and I shall become friends since we will be seeing one another every day. My best wishes to you and to Valdemar. May your sleep be restful._

_Queen Storena_

Not knowing what to make of such a letter, Ronan tucked it into his portfolio that held the rest of his Ashten papers. He'd be able to think about it over breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ronan hovered in the back of the room, waiting to be called. More than one person had cast a speculative glance at him, so he was beginning to get nervous. Some of those glances had been downright surprised instead of speculative. He began to wish that he dared read everyone's mind, just to know what they were thinking.

_:Don't you dare:_ Kira thought to him from her vantage point out on the lawn. _:That wouldn't be right:_

_:I know that: _he thought back. _:It's just that the temptation is awful.:_

_:Well, keep yourself reined in:_ she said, and changed the topic. _:You know, you look positively resplendent in those formal Whites. Perhaps that's why everyone's staring. Either that, or it's because no one else is wearing white.:_

He smiled. _:You might be right. No one else has even a scrap of white on, and I come in wearing the whole rig, silk, velvet, silver trim, and all. No wonder everyone's staring at me! I must resemble a beacon dressed in nothing but white.:_

It was certainly true. There was every shade of blue, green, gold, red, and even black, but there was no white, even for a trim or veil on the ladies. There were no browns or oranges or grays, either. He began to wonder where those colors were.

"Herald Ronan, First Ambassador from the kingdom of Valdemar!"

Ronan jumped as the speaker called his name, and he approached the throne, going up to it and bowing as he'd been taught. Garbed in black silk and velvet, the queen nodded her head, looking him up and down.

_:It looks like you've made a conquest, Chosen:_ Kira said playfully. _:She's staring at you, too.:_

_:It's just the Whites:_ he told her stubbornly. He did _not_ want to have Kira teasing him about finding a love of his own. He'd always been too busy before to have anything more serious going on than "just friends," and now that he was an ambassador, he'd have to be doubly careful. Not only would he be too busy, but there would be individuals just waiting to cause trouble for him, and a scandal with someone he'd thought to be safe was the _last_ thing he needed! No, he was better off waiting until he returned to Valdemar to find a lady-love.

The queen stood and approached him, taking his right hand in hers. "I am pleased to meet you, Herald Ronan," she said softly. "Very pleased, in fact."

With that, she returned to her seat, and Ronan made way for the person next in line.

Everyone was whispering and looking at him.

_:What do you make of this:_ he asked Kira, allowing her to look through his eyes at everyone whispering. _:Do you think I did something wrong:_

_:No: _she answered thoughtfully. _:No, I think she did something that no one expected. Something tells me that what she did is something that not many see.:_

Space

Over the next few days, Ronan got to know people at Court and slid into the dance as if he'd been dancing it his whole life. It wasn't hard. At Court, people circulated, so he circulated as well, exchanging greetings and asking after people's welfare. He began to hear rumors about himself, and he heard himself described as very polite, and quite a good conversationalist. It was small, but it was something.

Every now and then, he rode out into the city, trying to get a good look around. Captain Aldiss always went with him since he'd been assigned to the Herald as his bodyguard. The Captain was a store of knowledge since he'd grown up in Hedena, and he was able to answer every question that Ronan asked him.

He learned why his Whites had caused such a sensation in Court. The religion of Ashten consisted of the Twain, a god and goddess who were often seen wearing either white or black, depending on their natures at the time.

"You see, black stands for experience, wisdom, and power," the Captian explained. "Often, the goddess wears it. The god is often inexperienced, naïve, and relatively weaker than the goddess, so he often wears white. Sometimes, the goddess will know less about something than the god, so their natures will change. When that happens, he is garbed in black and she in white."

"I see," Ronan said, thinking about the explanation. "So, what knowledge does the goddess have, and what does the god have?"

Captain Aldiss looked thoughtful. "Well, the goddess knows all the realms of women. She is the one who oversees parents, maidens, wives and husbands, childbirth, children, harvests, animals and livestock, commerce, water, seasons, fortune, and royalty. She also is the one who chooses loves for mortals, takes care of their emotions and minds, oversees learning, the arts, sciences, and she is responsible for healing and for taking care of those mortals who are sick, hurt, or dying."

"But that sounds as if she takes care of everything," Ronan pointed out. "What does the god take care of?"

Captain Aldiss smiled. "The god is the one who watches over fighters and warriors. He is also the protector of young men who are just beginning in the world. Sometimes, he will help thieves or scoundrels, but that is only because he feels sorry for them. Husbands who feel wronged by their wives pray to him, but often he is not able to do anything. Because he is trusting and innocent, the goddess also takes care of him, but if there is war, then he is the knowledgeable one, and he takes care of her. Since we are relatively peaceful, that doesn't happen too often."

"So everyone was surprised when they saw me wearing white because it stands for inexperience?" Ronan asked, just to make sure. "Should I stop wearing it?" _I wonder if I could dye some of my uniforms. . ._

"Oh, no, not at all," Captain Aldiss assured him. "From what I've heard, everyone at Court thinks you're absolutely charming and handsome in your uniforms."

Ronan felt himself blush and turned to look at Captain Aldiss, wondering what had made him say that.

The Captain grinned. "I have a lover among the Court ladies," he explained. "She tells me everything, and that's what she says they're saying. Even the men say that it's refreshing to see someone all dressed up in white. You never know, you might set a fashion trend."

"I'm just wondering if I'm doing a good job," Ronan protested. "Not if I'm the latest fashion craze!"

"Oh, not to worry," the Captain assured him. "Everyone finds you to be entirely intelligent, inscrutable, and polite. You're doing fine. The Queen is thinking about extending your stay here since she finds you so pleasant."

"But we've only spoken once," Ronan blurted, surprised.

Captain Aldiss shrugged. "That's what I heard."

A surprise came after he'd been there a month in the form of an invitation to an afternoon garden party in the Queen's garden.

_:Kira:_ he called, reading the invitation through again.

_:Yes:_

_:I've been invited to a garden party: _he told her. _:What should I wear:_

_:Who will be there:_ she asked, sounding surprised. She hadn't seen any evidence of a garden party in the gardens anywhere.

_:I don't know, but it's to be held in the Queen's garden:_ he said, looking over his formal outfits.

_:Oh, that explains why I haven't seen any preparations being made: _she said, sounding a little put out. _:Each time I approach the Queen's garden, I'm shooed away. Everyone around here still thinks I'm a horse:_

_:I know: _Ronan said, sounding unhappy. _:I keep trying to convince them. . .:_

Kira shook off her mood. _:Well, this isn't getting you ready for the party: _she said, sounding cheerful. As she'd often said to her friends in Companion's Field, Ronan was hopeless when it came to getting dressed for different functions, and there was nothing she liked better than decking him out. _:How about that linen outfit with silver embroidery? It's nice and light and it will be comfortable since it's so hot out today. It seems that summer in Ashten is even hotter than it is in Haven.:_

_:You might be right: _he said, pulling the tunic and trews out of the closet and laying them on his bed. _:Do you think canvas or leather boots:_

_:I'd say canvas. It's not as if you're going to be riding, is it:_

_:I'd like to be: _he thought as he began dressing. The party was in the next hour, and he liked to be ready ahead of time. _:Unless I'm going somewhere, I never get to ride with you.:_

Kira sighed. _:I know, love. I miss all the time we used to spend together, too.:_ She changed the subject before they could both become too unhappy. _:Do you think Lady Alysse will be there:_

Ronan groaned. She'd been throwing herself at him lately, and she'd been sending him letters almost every night. Whenever a page showed up with one, he would tip him and ask the boy to return the letter, give his compliments to Lady Alysse, and ask him to tell her that although he was flattered, Ambassador Ronan was unable to accept her kind letters.

_:I hope not: _he said, fervently. _:I'd lose my mind, I just know it.:_

Kira laughed, sounding highly amused. _:I'm sorry, but the silly woman is ridiculous, the way she throws herself at you. Can't she take a hint:_

_:Apparently not:_ he muttered. _:I'm a little tired of having to hide from her.:_

_:Well, if she become too obnoxious, I'll just leave something where she can step in it:_ Kira said happily.

Ronan burst out laughing, startling Neran, who had come in and begun to tidy up. Trying to ignore the Herald, the boy finished his work and scurried out, as if afraid to remain in the same room with a man who laughed at nothing.

Space

Ronan arrived at the Queen's garden right on time. There was music playing, and he saw a fountain over in the corner of the shrub-enclosed garden. Roses grew everywhere, and birds in cages chirped and sang. Padded benches were scattered here and there, and there was even a very comfortable couch, complete with pillows and throw blankets. There had been a low table set up with cushions around it, and on the table was a veritable feast of bite-size sandwiches, cakes, fruit slices, and drinks in iced pitchers. Aside from the minstrel playing a lute off to the left, there was no one else.

_:Do you think I'm early:_ he asked Kira after allowing her to see the garden through his eyes.

_:No, you're right on time, but I don't see anyone else heading your way:_ she said, slightly worried. _:It might be. . .:_

_:It might be _what?

_:Well, this might be a private party thrown just for you:_ she said, still worried. _:Maybe she wants to get to know you better without the rest of the Court around.:_

_:I don't think I like the sound of that: _he thought immediately, going cold. _:It could end up as a recipe for disaster, if she wants to get to know me _too _well and someone else sees us.:_

_:Hmm. You're right. Should I be nearby, cropping grass, just to make sure you aren't alone together? Something tells me she wouldn't like to shower you with amatory attention when a horse is nearby having lunch.:_

_:Well, we don't know if that's what her goals are: _ he thought to her.

_:Better safe than sorry: _she reminded him. _:I'd feel better about this whole thing, at least. This whole thing feels wrong, somehow.:_

_:I think I'd feel better, too.:_

_:All right, then, I'm on my way.:_ she said, just as the Queen stepped into the garden and smiled at him.

"I'm glad you came," she said, walking towards him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I am glad you invited me," Ronan answered smoothly, taking the hand the Queen held out to him. "It appears as if I am early, since none of the other guests are here yet."

"Oh, don't let that trouble you," she said, smiling and leading him over to the table. "This is meant to be a quiet affair."

_I hope she doesn't mean "love" affair,_ he thought nervously, his mouth going a little dry. He didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous, but he was glad that Kira was on her way.

The Queen simply led him over to the table and invited him to sit down. She sank onto the cushions with all the ease of a cat, and he sat down as well, feeling as if he had suddenly lost all of his courtly graces when his knee whacked the edge of the table on his way down. He apologized quickly, but she waved his apology aside, saying that it didn't matter.

"So," she said, filling a glass with lemonade for him once he was settled, "I trust you're enjoying your stay in Hedena?"

"Oh, yes, very much," he assured her. "Everyone has been very kind."

She gave him an amused look. "Small talk? Come now, you can be honest with me."

He didn't know how to answer that or what to say.

He was saved from answering by the arrival of a priest, dressed in full robes and looking as if he had a very pleasant task ahead of him.

"Ah, Father Kendar, good afternoon!" the Queen said, rising to give him her hand in greeting. "I am so glad you could come! This is Herald Ronan, the young man I told you about."

_She's been talking about me?_ he thought in surprise. _But we only spoke that once. . ._

"Pleased to meet you, young man," the priest greeted him. "I've heard a great deal about you. What do you think of our Storena? Isn't she wonderful?"

Again, Ronan didn't know what to say, and he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. "She is very kind," he managed to stammer.

"Of course she is," Kendar said, sitting down across from Ronan.

_:Chosen:_

_:I'm here, Kira:_ he thought to her. _:Where are you:_

_:I'm almost there, and once I get rid of this idiot stable hand, I'll _be _there: _she thought savagely. _:The damn fool doesn't realize that I don't want to go back to the stables for a nice, juicy carrot, like he's trying to coax me to do. You should _hear _some of the saccharine garbage he's mouthing:_

Ronan fought down a smile. Kira's tolerance for baby talk was low if it was directed towards her. She had used it on her Herald, only teasingly when he'd been younger, but she hated to have to endure it herself.

Ronan continued to answer questions while he waited for Kira. Some of them were personal questions, like how had he liked his Heralds' training or what it had been like growing up in the Collegium, while others centered around his family and friends, and while still others centered around what he thought about the Court, Hedena, Ashten, etc.

"Oh…Herald Ronan, your horse is out," Storena said, pointing at the entrance of the garden. "Perhaps you should call for a stable hand?"

"I don't think so," he said, rising and going to Kira to kiss her muzzle, his nervousness suddenly gone. "She says she's been missing me."

"She _talks?_" This burst spontaneously from the priest and the queen.

"In her own fashion," he said, scratching her behind the ears while she closed her eyes in bliss. "With your permission?" He took an apple from the table and held it out to Kira, who took it daintily from his hand and chewed with every sign of contentment. He smiled and said to them both, "She thanks you for your hospitality, and says that the apple was just delicious."

They both stared at him as if he were crazy, but he decided not to let it bother him while Kira curled up in a corner of the garden. Storena tried to look as if everything was all right, but Ronan could tell that she was having trouble reconciling herself to a "talking" and possibly intelligent horse.

The party continued as the queen recovered her equilibrium by serving Ronan and Kendar and plying them with sandwiches, cakes, and pastries. Ronan ate lightly, certain that he didn't want to stuff himself sick on all of the treats that were there. Storena also remembered Kira, and made certain that she was kept supplied with apples and a bucket of cold water.

The priest suddenly rose, saying that he had to return to the temple, but he turned to the queen and took her hand. "Without a doubt, my dear. Without a doubt." He bid Herald Ronan goodbye, bowed to Kira, and left.

_:What was that all about:_ Kira wondered.

_:I don't know.:_

Storena rose. "I wonder if you would like to come on a walk with me, Herald Ronan?" she asked, smiling hopefully. "I would like to show you something."

"What is it?" he asked, getting up as well. "Another garden?"

"Something like that," she said, taking his hand.

_:Careful, Chosen:_ Kira warned him nervously.

_:Careful about what:_

_:There are times that I ask myself _how _you could have grown up in Haven and still turn out to be so innocent: _she said, sounding ready to kick him. _:She wants to take you somewhere else, presumably away from the seemingly-content 'horse' that is being the proverbial 'crowd.': _she pointed out, alluding to the saying that "Two's company, but three's a crowd." _:Now, why do you think that is:_

_:Oh.:_

Finally, _he gets it! Shall I follow along:_

_:Don't you think that she'll think it's awfully suspicious if you get up and follow us:_

_:She might think I'm looking for more apples: _ she suggested.

By this time, Storena was leading him out of the garden and down a path to what seemed to be a place of absolute seclusion.

_:Maybe you'd better follow:_ he admitted.

_:Thought you'd say that.:_

They were almost at the end of the path when Storena turned and spotted Kira. "She's following us."

He turned and looked. "So she is."

"Can you make her go away?" Storena asked, turning to Ronan. This was the first time she'd asked him outright to send his Companion away.

"I'll talk to her," Ronan promised, and he turned to Kira.

_:She could just _ask _me: _Kira complained, thoroughly annoyed. _:Everyone in this wretched place treats me like I'm a horse:_

_:They probably have nothing like Companions here, love:_ he pointed out. _:They can't even understand the idea, so they treat you the same way as a horse. I'll try to convince her.:_

_:All right: _Kira said, nuzzling him. _:I'll try to keep my temper. Do you want me to leave you alone:_

_:How about you go back to the end of the path? If I need you, I'll call. That should make her feel better.:_

She nodded her head, whickered, and turned and trotted off. Ronan turned back to Storena.

"Will she come back?" Storena asked.

Ronan shook his head. "She's off to look around for a little bit. Now, what was it you wanted to show me?"

She smiled, and to Ronan, it looked like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. Ronan had no idea why continuing the tour would make her smile like _that_, but he decided that it was something that he wouldn't understand should he ask her to explain. Taking his hand again, she led him down the path and through a doorway in the hedges surrounding them.

Inside, there was a little clearing, with a statue—no, a fountain—in the middle. It was cleverly done: The statue was of the Twain, and they stood together, their right hands clasped and held above their hands. Water cascaded from their hands down to the stones that made up the little courtyard and disappeared in a series of channels that led down to a pool he could hear underneath the flagstones. What sort of fountain was this?

"This is the Fountain of the Twain," the queen said, almost as if she could hear his thoughts. "It's one of my favorite places. No one ever looks for me here, and I can enjoy the water."

"It sounds nice," Ronan said, noncommittally, so he wasn't prepared for what happened next: Removing her mantel, shoes, stockings, and her outer dress, the queen stood in a sleeveless black shift that ended above her ankles and smiled at him.

"Join me?"

Ronan could feel himself flushing. "Ah—join you?"

"In the water!" she said, sounding vastly amused. "It's hot out, and I thought you'd like the water!"

_:Kira? Should I:_

_:If you want to, Chosen: _Kira thought back to him, sounding as amused as the queen was. _:Just take off your boots, socks, and tunic and get wet. She's right, it _is _hot out, and it would take gallons of lemonade to cool you down. Go ahead and cool off.:_

_:Okay. . .:_ He did as Kira suggested and joined the queen, who was already scooting back and forth underneath the spray. _:I think it's all right:_ he told her, gasping as the cold of the water shocked him. _:You don't have to wait around anymore, if you don't want to. You should go get cool yourself.:_

_:I've already found a handy pond:_ she said, and he felt a corresponding feeling of "coolness" in the back of his mind. _:Out of the way, fishies, I'm swimming here:_

_:Where are you:_ he asked, intrigued.

_:In the decorative fish pond:_ she replied, happily. _:I'm out in the middle, and all of the stable hands are on the shores, panicking. Once they realize I know how to swim, they'll leave me in peace.:_

Ronan fought down a laugh and concentrated on soaking his hair. Ah, it felt so good to be cool!

A sudden gush of water in his face surprised him, and he opened his eyes to see the queen laughing uproariously at his startled expression. She cupped her hands, allowing them to fill with water, and she threw both handfuls in his face, showing him what she had done before.

_Two can play at that game,_ he thought, holding out his hands to catch water.

Seeing what he was planning, she gave a little shriek and took off, running around to the other side of the statue, seeking sanctuary. He went after her, determined to get her back for splashing him.

What followed was a splash-fest that would have soaked them, had they not already been wet. He stopped, exhausted, and staggered out of the spray, dropping into a sunny spot on the flags and closing his eyes, allowing the sun to warm him a little. The water was more than cold; it was icy, and he needed to warm up!

The queen joined him, still laughing. "Give up?"

"For the time being," he conceded, trying to catch his breath. He cracked open one eye, and nearly swallowed his tongue. The shift was soaked and clinging to her, outlining every curve possible. She sat down beside him, making some of the curves disappear, but still, it was difficult sitting next to her.

She smiled and leaned over him, causing him to open his other eye. Her wet hair drooped into his face, and before he could move away, she kissed him.

He leaped away from her, scooting backwards over the flags, feeling as if someone had just hit him in the mouth. That. . .that had been more than a kiss. . .

"What's the matter?" she asked, looking concerned.

"Oh, ah, nothing," he stammered, getting to his feet and reaching for his tunic. "It's just that I remembered something I have to do."

She got to her feet as well and followed him, and when he reached for his boots, she took his hand and pulled him to her, kissing him again. Again, he pulled away, this time hurriedly moving out of her reach, feeling as if someone had just bruised his lips.

_:Kira: _he thought, heading into the palace and making for his rooms. _:I have to talk to you. . .:_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to my reviewers!

Emma Lipardi: Do you know your name reminds me of a leopard? I'm continuing, and we'll see what happens next.

mugglepirate: Why, thank you! I'm glad you found my story! I'll keep writing as long as you keep reviewing!

Kirstin: More descriptions coming. As for the spacing, sometimes the ffn server will bunch text together, even though I go through and recorrect it. Also, it doesn't like punctuation too well. Hopefully, the bugs are worked out. Here's more.

Chapter 4

Captain Aldiss' expression matched what Kira's had been like when Ronan described his dilemma. Raised eyebrows, wide eyes, and a surprised/skeptical expression. Ronan was getting heartily tired of seeing it.

"She _kissed _you?" Captain Aldiss blurted, too surprised to say anything else. "Did she say why?"

"I didn't think to ask her. Does her kissing an envoy mean anything special here?"

"Other than that she likes you, I can't think of anything," the captain admitted.

"Great." Ronan dropped into a chair and stretched out his legs before looking over to where Aldiss sat, draped over a chair with his feet up on a table. His dark green uniform, trimmed with gold and set against the dark blue chair, reminded Ronan of a pile of emeralds and sapphires he'd seen in a painting once.

Ronan had changed out of his wet garments, gone to see Kira in a private garden, and told her what had happened after he'd broken contact with her. She suggested that he ask Captain Aldiss what he thought, so he'd asked the captain to come to his quarters to talk. Now, his last hope of answers had dried up like a puddle in the sun.

Space

Over the next few weeks, Ronan felt as if there were something going on that he just wasn't seeing. Lady Alysse had stopped sending him notes and left him alone as if she had just taken a vow of chastity and loneliness, and other ladies became distant and polite. The men didn't change, except that he was receiving more invitations to their activities: hunts, games, and "discussions." Aldiss had told him that "discussions" involved a lot of drinking and not much talking, as well as gambling. Since Ronan didn't enjoy hunting, field sports, or getting drunk; he wrote polite, thankful, but negative answers to the invitations, saying that his duties at court kept him occupied.

It was true, too. Morning, afternoon, and evening the queen held court, and it would be a travesty if he did not attend. He had his duties to Valdemar to consider. When he wasn't at court, he spent his time reading books from the library after he received a letter from the queen, stating that the library was open to him. Often, he would send Neran to the library with a list of what he wanted, and the librarian was always happy to oblige with a number of titles that served his needs. Mostly, he asked for history books so he could learn more about Ashten.

Whenever he wasn't reading, he was writing reports to send home to Valdemar. At prearranged times, a Farseer and Fetcher would zero in on him, take the folded report he had readied, and then send him his messages from home. There were always letters from the King and his superiors in the Circle, and there were notes from friends.

Kira was the first one to notice that he was losing weight and looking a little ill.

_:What's the matter, Chosen? You don't seem well:_ she asked when he came to visit her in her stall one evening.

_:I don't feel well:_ he admitted. _:You're wonderful, Kira, but I don't have anyone else to talk to. At least, not as a friend. I always have to watch what I say and do with everyone, and I'm beginning to be lonely.:_

Kira nuzzled him in an understanding manner, sending him a wordless pulse of love. _:I know, Chosen. I know it's hard. Is there anyone you can talk to? Anyone at all:_

_:The people I see the most on a regular basis are Captain Aldiss, Neran, and the Queen. The only problem is, they may have been told to watch me, so I can't really unburden myself to them, and _forget _trying to be cozy! I'm not Aldiss' type, Neran has a girlfriend, and I prefer ladies myself.:_

_:What about the Queen:_ Kira teased, looking at him knowingly. _:Anything come out of those fountain kisses:_

Ronan smiled as he scratched underneath Kira's forelock and shook his head. _:I decided to avoid her, but at the same time, she's avoiding me. I don't get it. I mean, she kisses me passionately, and then she disappears. I don't know what to make of it.:_

_:Perhaps your reaction taught her to be a little more modest.:_

_:Yes, but how do we know that what she did was _immodest_? This is another land, Kira. Perhaps what she did is completely acceptable here.:_

Kira flicked an ear in puzzlement. _:But Captain Aldiss had no idea why she did it, either.:_

_:Oh. Forgot about that.:_

Silently, they talked together, and later, as it grew colder, Ronan climbed into Kira's stall to curl up against her side and sleep as he had while he'd still been a little. If he could forget his loneliness, just for a little, then that would be all that he'd ask.

Space

Yellow lantern light brought him out of dreams of friends at home, and Kira shifted sleepily beside him.

_:Tell that fool to put out that light before I kick him: _she muttered sleepily. _:That is entirely too rude to be borne.:_

"There you are!" Captain Aldiss said, looking down at him in relief. "Have you been here all this time?"

"Yes," Ronan said, getting to his feet. "What's wrong?"

"Well, nothing. Neran waited for you to come back from court, but when you didn't, he worried that something had happened to you, so he got me."

_:The light, Chosen:_ Kira reminded him grumpily.

_:Sorry, love. Go back to sleep.:_

"Let's go outside where we won't disturb Kira," Ronan said, taking the captain's elbow and turning him about.

"Why on earth were you sleeping in the stables?" Captain Aldiss asked as they left. "Was there a reason you couldn't sleep in your room?"

"No, not really," Ronan admitted, feeling like the naughty child who had snuck out of his room late at night to meet a friend his parents didn't approve of. "No, I just felt like spending some time with Kira, and I got sleepy and the next thing I knew you were there."

"You had me worried," Aldiss said as they headed back to the palace. "I didn't find you anywhere in the palace or gardens."

Ronan felt down the urge to apologize again. After all, Kira was his Companion! They were supposed to spend time together.

Aldiss escorted him back to his quarters, wished him a pleasant evening, and left. Neran, despite only being a boy, fussed over him as much as an old grandmother would have until Ronan had enough and thanked him before saying he could have the rest of the night free. Poor Neran. He had looked as if he had no idea what to do with himself once he had spare time.

Ronan curled up with a book, wishing he could go back to see Kira, but from the way Captain Aldiss had acted, it wasn't acceptable for envoys to sleep in the stables. He was deep in the book for a good long while until he felt a tiny flutter of surprise just at the edge of his mind. There was someone nearby, and they were surprised at seeing that he was awake.

Book forgotten, Ronan "listened" with his mind, trying to determine who was nearby. It felt as if they could see him, and that they were gazing at him at that moment. Were they in the room? He couldn't be certain. There were cupboards and drapes to hide behind, as well as an ornamental screen. He got up and began to stretch, trying to appear the nonchalant Herald, tired and tense at the end of the day. Kicking off his boots, he headed into the bedroom and was surprised that he felt the eyes following him. Gods, it almost felt as if they were walking alongside him! There was no visible person in the room,because as he walked, he could see behind everything. What was going on?

Feeling far too self-conscious to dress for bed, he slipped out of his shirt, peeled off his socks, and climbed into bed, taking the book with him. He pretended to read, all the while "listening" for who it was. He was beginning to think that he would learn _nothing _about them when he felt the tiniest stirring in the back of his mind. When he paid attention to it, he caught the slightest hint of a lullaby. He pretended to smile at the book. So they wanted him to go to sleep, huh? Well, he wasn't going to oblige them. No, he would continue with this oh-so-interesting book while he waited for them to reveal themselves in some way. If this person were planning to attack, they would have done so by then, so he didn't have to worry about that. No, they were planning something else.

The lullaby grew stronger and more insistent, and just to annoy them, hegot up to get a drink of water.He sipped at it slowly,moving his eyes over the words but taking none of them in. No, he was still "listening," but he was beginning to get tired of the game. Wouldthey reveal themselves?

His head started to nod; the lullaby was taking effect. Stubbornly, he blocked it. He wasn't going to go to sleep!He moved to the couch to sit up and read, and he felt a definite flash of annoyance and frustration. Good. Let the other person be annoyed for a while.He was tired ofbeing the one sitting on his anger.

When the lullaby began to "roar" in his"ears" he decided enough was enough. "Is someone there?" he called, startling them. According to what he'd sensed, the personwas standing by the wall over to the right. He looked, but he saw nothing more than a very ornate and heavy mirror. His own reflection stared back at him as he felt the other person flee, mentally cursing. He smiled, happy to be left alone. They had meant nothing thatcould be construed as malicious,ofthat much he was sure. If they had been planning something like kidnapping him, they would have needed more than one person, but no, there had been only one. Feeling as if he could sleep safely, he sethis book aside, climbed into bed, and blew out the candle. He would have toinclude this incident in his report tomorrow.

Space

A letterarrived from the queen the next morning, inviting him to a luncheon that afternoon.

_:Kira, I've got another invitation_: he told her, feeling a little nervous.

_:Are you going to go:_

_:It would berude not to_: he said unhappily_. :But considering what happened last time_...:

He felt Kira shudder_. :Hearing that she did something like that was unnerving.:_

_:It certainly was_: he agreed_. :Still, duty can't be denied. It's my duty to go and make an appearance.:_

_:And be utterly charming_: she finished.

_:Why, thank you, love_.:

Taking Kira's advice, he dressed in the best summer whites he had and made sure that his boots were immaculate. He combed his hair, shaved again, and got ready to go.

_:I hope this won't be a repeat of the Fountain Affair: _Kira said, sounding worried. _:Hopefully she won't try it again.:_

_:I still don't understand what she was trying: _Ronan admitted. _:It was as if she were giving signals that I failed to catch.:_

Ronan arrived at the hall appointed for the luncheon. With relief, he saw that the place was packed with courtiers, all milling about and talking or nibbling on bits of food. He made his greetings, took the plate handed him, and began to mingle. He could feel Kira in the back of his mind, listening to the small talk with avid curiosity and sighing over the string quartet playing in the corner. She was very fond of music.

Ronan had waved aside the offer of a pastry from a server when the Queen stood, silencing everyone. As a body, the courtiers turned and filed for the nearest exit, leaving Ronan in a panic trying to locate one. What had he missed to be taken by surprise like that?

"Herald Ronan, please stay," the Queen said, as the courtiers traipsed out. "You and I need to talk."

"Ah, yes, Your Majesty," he said, remaining where he was. Once the last courtier had left and the musicians were gone, he turned to her and said, very politely, "What was it you needed?"

"I need to talk with you about us."

_That _was the last thing he'd expected! "Us?"

"Yes, she said. About us, why I did what I did at the fountain, and what you can expect now. Also, we need to make preparations."

_Well, I'm glad she's going to explain..._he thought. "Preparations? For what?"

"Our wedding," she said, looking steadily at him.

Feelig as if the ground were falling away beneath him, he called for Kira.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Wedding? What wedding?" he croaked in a panic.

"Let me explain first," she said, leading him over to a bench and sitting him down. "First of all, what I did at the fountain: I had you come to that luncheon with Father Kendar so he could read you."

"Read me? For what?"

"To see if you are god to my goddess. You see, here in Ashten, each couple that meet have a measure of god or goddess in them. I am very strongly goddess, and Father Kendar said that you are the perfect match of god for me. He said that if we do not marry, terribly harm could befall both of us," she said, sounding worried. "To deny our union when one is required is a crime that the Twain do not take lightly. There is a bond between us, and we must fulfill it."

_:Kira? Is there any sort of bond between the two of us? I can't sense it, but maybe you can.:_

He felt Kira's mind reach for his, and then felt a tiny stirring at the back and top of his head. _:There's nothing there. There's not even a wisp of a bond. No, the only connections the two of you have is that you're both human, and she has a touch of Thought-Sensing. That's all.:_

"I don't think there is a bond," he said, thanking all the stars for Kira. "I am an Empath, and I would know if there is any sort of bond. I feel nothing."

She shook her head. "This goes beyond what mortals can sense," she persisted. "I kissed you at the fountain to see if you would respond to me. I apologize if I frightened you, but that is the reaction that the god gave the goddess when she first approached him. You see, the story goes that he was swimming near a waterfall when the goddess saw him and fell in love with him. She appeared at his side and kissed him, and he ran away, same as you did. But they saw one another again, and by that time, neither one could deny the bond they had. Once they had wed, their power was greater, and they began to bear children, and those children became the people of Ashten. If we fail to fulfill this bond between us, it could be disastrous, Ronan!"

_:She believes it:_ Kira said, sounding surprised.

_:I know. That's what has me so scared.:_ He turned to look at her again. "What if I'm not free to marry?"

"Engagements can be broken, and marriages can be ended in your country, can't they?" she asked, sounding confident.

"Yes, but I have my duty to Valdemar to consider," he pointed out. "I am not free to marry."

"Surely Heralds marry!"

"Yes, we marry; at least some do, but our lives are difficult. I may not be able to remain in Ashten. I go wherever and do whatever the king and country need."

"Couldn't your king assign you as a permanent envoy?" she suggested. "That would fulfill your obligations nicely, and it would ensure your country another ally in Ashten."

_:She's not listening:_ Kira muttered. _:Would you like me to come kick her:_

"What if the king requires me to return to Haven?" he pointed out."I can't say no, and would you be willing to come to Valdemar?"

"That isn't possible, since I have to be here," she said, sounding sad. "I'm sorry, Ronan, but you'll have to remain here."

He tried to think, but his mind was all in a muddle. She was convinced that they had to marry, and there were religious issues mixed up in this. What if there were something that he _wasn't_ able to sense, like she'd said? But then again, theCompanions were more"in tune" with the divine than other creatures he knew were. If Kira said that there was no such bond, then that was true. He'd learned to accept her when she gave her opinion on such things. Also, he could very easily step on quite a fewdiplomatic toes by refusing to wed her. What if it were the best thing for Valdemar that he marry Storena?

"What if I don't want to marry you?" he wanted to know. "I may want to remain a bachelor."

She shook her head. "If the Twain decree our union, it won't matter what you want," she said. "Don't worry, Ronan. You may not love me now, but you will in time. You see, the first day I saw you, that day in court, I knew that you were meant to be god to my goddess. Father Kendar only confirmed it. Try to get used to the idea, at least."

"Your Majesty," he said, pulling out all of his charm and confidence. "I don't think that I _am_ god to your goddess," he told her, resorting to the terms she'd used. "If I appeared afraid at the fountain, it was because I didn't know how to react to a woman that I barely knew who gave me a passionate kiss! And the fact that she was a queen, and I an envoy, and that the situation was very awkward and dangerous that I left so quickly. What would the court have thought if stories about the two of us got out? You know how rumors spread and grow over time."

"But stories have gotten out," she said, smiling.

He stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"I made sure that the rest of the court knew," she told him, her smile growing larger. "I told my ladies, and they told others, and soon, everyone knew. Why do you think the other ladies left you alone and the men began to invite you to parties and the like? After all, if you are to be my husband, you can't be expected to be an eremite all the time like you are now! They decided to reach out to you, but you haven't really cooperated, have you?"she teased, taking his hands in hers.

"If we do marry, then what am I to do?" he wanted to know. "I'll still be Valdemar's envoy..."

"Oh, of course, but there won't be much more required of you than that. At the most, you'll have to attend court, appear at my side in state functions, and things like that, but you will have more free time than I will. That's why the other men invited you to their gatherings, so you could start building your own social life. I don't want you to be unhappy here, Ronan, and no one else does, either. A union for a god-and-goddess pair is never easy for the person who is mostly god, so it's become a tradition to make things easier for that person, whether it is a male or female."

_:That explains a great deal: _Kira said. _:Now we know why Lady Alysse began to act so strangely and why you became so darned popular all of a sudden. What do you think, Chosen:_

_:I think I'm in a great deal of trouble:_ he told her, and then he turned back to the queen. "Your Majesty, I shall have to inform my king of the situation, but this does not imply my acceptance."

Her smile faded. "Ronan, take all the time you need to inform your king and Valdemar, but your acceptance isn't required. The decision is not in our hands, but in the Hands of the Twain."

He took that for a dismissal and fled, heading back to his quarters. Neran was there, looking very excited. He was so excited, in fact, that he hopped a little from foot to foot, as if unable to stay still.

"Did she tell you?" he gasped. "That you are god to her goddess?"

"How in hellfires do you know that?" he sputtered, too surprised to be polite.

"It's all over the palace!" Neran told him, grinning. "When will the wedding be?"

Ronan groaned. "I haven't said yes or anything!"

Neran stopped hopping. "Why do you need to say yes?"

"Never mind. I'm going out for a little, to clear my head," he said, changing his boots for riding boots. "Please just let me be; I'll be fine. I just need to think."

"Of course," Neran said, smiling. "What shall Itell Captain Aldiss if he comes to find you?"

"Just tell him anything so he won't come looking for me," Ronan said. "I need to be alone."

Space

Ronan got to the stable, saddled Kira, and took her out into the riding park that was behind the palace. It was very like Companion's Field, but it was open to all the courtiers. Finding a nice secluded spot, he and Kira settled down and prepared to use Mindspeech. With her helping him, he would be able to reach the other Heralds through their Companions, and with him helping her, she would be able to reach those Companions. Ronan reached as Kira extended her mind at the same time, and they were able to reach Taver, the Grove-Born and Companion to Mark, the present King's Own. Quickly, they outlined the situation and asked for advice. They could feel a "conference" going on, and after almost twenty minutes of waiting, they received the answer. Although it would be very convenient for Valdemar to have a new ally, they didn't necessarily need one since they were friendly with all countries surrounding them. Even the Iftellan ambassador said that they were willing to risk poor relations with Ashten in order to support Valdemar. The Twain were not recognized in Iftel, nor were they feared or respected. Herald Ronan and Kira were advised to return home quickly, or at least to tryreaching the Iftellan border where the Iftel Guard could protect them. After wishing them well, Valdemar broke the connection, and Ronan and Kira withdrew.

Ronan leaned against Kira's shoulder while she rested her head on the ground.

_:I think that I'm going to sleep for a week after this:_ she said, sounding as tired as he felt.

"I agree," he croaked, feeling completely worn out. A very nice reaction headache was pounding his skull to pieces, and he wanted nothing more than to drink some willowbark tea and sleep for as long as Kira suggested. "When should we go?"

_:Well, no one knows we're planning to leave yet:_ she said, sounding thoughtful. _:I say we try to get as much rest as we can tonight and tomorrow, and we leave tomorrow evening. You can play sick and be excused from court, and then we can sneak out.:_

_:Good idea:_ he commended, switching to the less-exhausting Mindspeech. _:Right now, though, we have to get you back to the stables and me back to the palace. It may be summer, but I always rest better in a proper bed, and I know you prefer a comfy straw pile to dirt_.:

She groaned and gave him a beseechinglook. _:Carry me? Please:_

He smiled, chuckling a little. _:I'd love to, dearheart, but I don't think I can even carry myself right now.:_

She groaned and levered herself up, taking much longer than she would have normally. _:All right, then. Let's go.:_

Ronan also got to his feet and together, he and Kira headed back to the palace. Once he saw her comfortably placed in her stall, he filled her grain bucket almost to the top and did the same with her water bucket.

_:Don't forget to eat, love:_ he reminded her. _:I'll check up on you in a while.:_

Obediently, she buried her nose in the grain, munching away. _:Thank you, Chosen. I wasn't hungry until I tasted this, and it tastes wonderful! You wrap yourself around a large meal and get some rest, too.:_

_:I will: _he promised before leaving. He made it back to his quarters, where he promptly collapsed in a chair and rang for Neran. It didn't take the boy long to come, and when he saw how the Herald looked, he began to splutter and ask what had happened.

"What's wrong? You look terrible! You're all white and shaky and--"

"I'm just very tired, Neran, that's all," he said, cutting off the boy's almost-babble. "I'm also very hungry, and I'd like some willowbark tea. Could you bring me a meal large enough for three people and a pot of that wonderful tea, please?"

"Of course, anything at all. Should I also get a healer?"

"No," Ronan said firmly, forestalling that notion. "I don't need a healer, I'm just tired, that's all, and very hungry."

Neran nodded, took the hint, and haled off after the things Ronan had asked for. Ronan, deciding that he would feel better once he was comfortable, changed into a set of sleeping clothes and wrapped up in a light robe. He was looking for his slippers when Neran returned with an overflowing tray.

"Oh, that looks fabulous, Neran, thank you," he said, sitting down at a table and abandoning his search for slippers.

"Cook said that if you asked for a meal for three, then you were probably being modest, so she gave me enough for four."

"That looks about right," Ronan said, digging in as Neran poured him some tea. There were hand-sized meat-and-vegetable pies, a dish of pudding, a bowl of sliced fruits, cheese, and the all-important pot of tea. Also, there was a pot of something else that Neran poured him a mug of. It smelled tangy and fruity, and he felt his mouth water.

"What's that?" he asked after sipping at the willowbark for a moment or two. "It smells kind of like a fruit pie!"

Neran smiled. "That's Cook's special blend of tea for people who don't feel up to much. It's got all kinds of fruit and spices in it, and she says that it's good for people who feel puny for one reason or another. Everyone in the kitchen drinks it every day, and she gives it to all of the littles as well."

Taking the proffered cup, Ronan sipped it. It fizzled across his tongue and down his throat, and only after he'd swallowed it did he taste all of the flavors that were there. He tasted apples, pears, quinces, every type of berry he knew, and grapes. The spices were cinnamon and what tasted like cloves and cardamom. He smiled, remembering the spice cakes he'd begged from the Collegium cook when he'd been small. Spices were expensive, but forevery Winter Holiday he could remember at the Collegium, there had been spice cakes.

He decimated his meal, leaving hardly any crumbs, and he finished off two cups of willowbark before his headache eased. He went to bed and asked Neran to leave the other pot of tea there. Once all was quiet, Ronan was asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Collegium berry pies to my reviewers!

Mugglepirate--grins I'm awful, aren't I? Let's see what will happen!

Shadowcat--Yes, I'm kind of interested, too. Thanks!

Chapter 6

Her Majesty of Ashten, Storena, was very worried. Apparently, her announcement to her future husband had made him ill, for instead of coming to court on his own that moring, he'd sent his page with a message saying that he was ill.

"It's true, Your Majesty," the boy said, looking worried. "Last night he looked terrible, and this morning he's a little better, but I wouldn't want him up and about even if he wanted to be. Right now, he's just laying there like one dead."

"Please thank Herald Ronan for his message," she said, feeling fear clench her throat. "Has he requested a healer?"

The boy shook his head. "He says that it's not an illness a healer can treat, for I offered to get him one last night. No, he says he just needs rest, that's all. He says he's had this illness before, but I've never seen one like it. He says it's particular to Heralds."

Well, that was interesting. Worrisome, but interesting. How could there be an illness particular to Heralds? After all, they were human like anyone else. She decided to cancel evening court and check up on him, even if it upset people. After all, no one could blame her; he was the other half of her Pair!

The day could not movequickly enough. Councilors wined and droned at her, and courtiers bored her. At last, after supper, she made her way to her private sitting room and pressed a hidden catch that was hidden in the far wall. A panel slid back, revealing a passageway, and she made her way through it by memory, smiling as she thought of how her father's oldest coucilor had shown an insistent young princess the secret of the passageways that she _knew_ were there. She used them to spy on everyone: councilors, courtiers, diplomats. She'd used this particular one to spy on Herald Ronan almost every night he'd been there.

Her smile grew larger as she thought of him. He was so perfect! Handsome, thoughtful, kind, andwith such a sweet voice and lovelyeyes. Also, he was perfectly adorable when he was asleep! She arrived usually after he'd gone to bed, and for a while, she indulged herself by watching him through several spy-holes and the large mirror in his quarters. Whenever he slept, he slept with one arm thrown across his chest, just as a child would sleep. He would mutter occasionally, but it was more like a murmur. Whenever he made such a sound, she was certain that he would hear her sighs of adoration.

She reached the mirror that faced his bed and looked in, wondering if he was all right.

He seemed fine, she realized. He was in bed, propped up by a lot of pillows, and Neran was fussing at him.

"I would feel a lot better if you would allow me to call a healer!" the boy was saying. "To be so tired for no reason..."

"I'm perfectly all right, I said," Ronan insisted. "All I need is more rest. I was better this morning than I was last night, wasn't I? And I'm better now than I was this morning, aren't I? The only cure available for this illness is _rest_, just like I keep telling you."

"Yes, but how long does it normally take to get better? You're still awfully pale."

"Each time is different, really," Ronan explained. "And I'm not getting much rest while you're here worrying yourself into an early grave. Neran, I told you that I will be just fine with rest. I'm not going to up and die on you, and I'm not going to get worse unless someone decides to stab or otherwise maim me."

"But..." the boy persisted.

"Neran," Ronan said, calling for all of his patience. "_I'm fine._ And I'll be much better once I'm not gabbing away. Could I please have some quiet?"

Neran didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "All right. But if you need me for anything, ring for me. I mean _anything._"

Ronan nodded. "I promise to call you if I need you."

Satisfied, but still not convinced, Neran left.

Hidden behind the mirror, Storena smiled. She could tell that the boy had been driving Ronan to distraction, but he remained kind and polite with him. Such diplomacy would serve him well in the coming years...Wait a moment, what was he doing now?

She watched in horror as he pulled himself out of bed, pulled on socks, shirt, tunic, boots, and grabbed his saddlebags. What was he doing? As she watched, he left his room. Following him through the hallways by means of the passages, she followed him downstairs and saw him leave the palace through a side door. Seeing him head for the stables, she fled back the way she had come, thinking quickly. It would take him some time to saddle that odd horse of his, so that would give her time enought to get some help...

As she ran, she began to be angry. Why was he sneaking away? Hadn't she explained to him what all of it meant? How could he just run off like this? Feeling furious, she reached a doorway out and began calling for guards, determined not to let him leave.

Space

Ronan saddled Kira in record time, and he was tightening her cinch when he heard hollering from the palace. He recognized Storena's voice and felt his throat close in panic.

_:Hurry, Chosen:_ Kira urged him, tossing her hackamore over her own head--something he hadn't even known she could do!--in order to save time. _:I think they've realized what we're doing.:_

_:But no one saw me leave: _he protested. _:How could they know:_

_:Were you watching for anyone:_

_:Oops. I didn't think there would be anyone around after I sent Neran away, and Captain Aldiss has the night off! Damn:_

_:Well, too late now: _Kira told him as he mounted. _:Let's get out of here.:_

Still inside the stable, she turned and began to trot out, but as she reached the door, itstarted to swing shut. Putting on a burst of speed, she knocked the door aside, sending the two guards on the other side of it flying to land in a heap across the lawn.

_:They're here already:_ Ronan gasped, surprised they could come that quickly.

_:Apparently, but who says they're going to stop us:_ she growled, digging in her hooves into the cobbles of the courtyard. With clangs like bells, she stamped in place, letting them know that she was in a fighting mood. When two guards closed from the side, she lashed out with her hind feet, sending them flying to join the other two. Screaming like a banshee while she bared her teeth and pinned her ears back, she charged the others, deftly knocking them out of her way with her chest. Ronan held on, wishing that he'd strapped himself into the saddle.Thankfully, the high cantle kept him from sliding off of his seat whenever she ran like she was now.

_:Duck_: Kira cried, seeing the rope a second before her Chosen did. He ducked just in time to avoid the infamous clothesline manuver that supposedly unseated some of the best riders in the worldwho were foolish enough to forget to watch for it. As pikesmen charged him,swinging the blunt ends of their weapons in an attempt to bat him out of the saddle, Ronan locked himself into the saddle and flattened himself to Kira's back as much as possible to makehimself into a smaller target.While their pikes connected, nothing worse happened than a coupleof touches that he was certain were going to bruise later. But then, he reflected, it was better to have bruises than a forced marriage.

He saw the crossbowman before Kira even realized that he was there. He screamed with his mind, panicking, trying to get enough coherency in his thoughts to warn her, when he saw the bolt leave the crossbow and come towards them. Kira saw it just as it was about to bury itself in her shoulder, and her scream was an echo of his. She fell, pitching him from the saddle and sending him skidding along the cobbles. Once he had stopped, he got to his feet and rushed to her side, shouting her name.

_:I've been shot, Chosen, not deafened:_ she gasped from where she lay on the street. _:Are you all right, my love:_

_:I'm fine:_ he assured her, ignoring the numerous gashes on his body and what had to be a broken wrist.

_:Damn that woman:_ she said, glaring at Storena as she came up. _:She ordered that man to shoot me, I just _know _it.:_ Baring her teeth at Storena, she got to her feet and guarded Ronan, daring her to come closer.

_:Your wound, Kira: _he protested, shoving his shoulder underneath her in an attempt to take weight off of it.

_:Chosen, as long as I'm able, I'm not going to let her get near you: _she snapped angrily.

_:I'd rather have a healer looking at you and have her near me than have you bleed your life away:_ he snapped back. _:I don't want to lose you:_

That was what did it. Realizing that she couldn't travel, Storena now had an effective hostage in an injured Kira. Ronan could always escape on his own, but Kira knew that Storena would not hesitate to threaten her life if Ronan did not stay in Hedena. Lowering her head, she started to tremble, the Companion's equivalent of wracking sobs.

Seeing her distress, Ronan crumpled, cradling her head in his hands and fighting back tears.

_:It's all right:_he told her, scratching behind her ears in an attempt to cheer her. _:A marriage implies consent, doesn't it? Even if she makes me go through a ceremony, there's nothing that can make me give my consent.:_

_:Chosen:_ Kira said, sounding immeasurably sad, _:Don't you remember all the surprise you got when you told people that you hadn't even said 'yes?' I don't think your consent is needed here.:_

"What did you think you were doing?" Storena demanded, reaching them. "Sneaking off in the middle of the night? Were you really ill or were you pretending?"

"Do you really think that matters right now?" he snarled, glaring at her. "Kira's hurt!"

Storena looked at Kira dispassionately. "If you need another horse, I can get you one. Right now, your horse isn't the issue here. Why were you leaving after I told you about our pairing?"

"SHE'S NOT A HORSE!" Ronan roared, pushed past patience. _:Come on, love:_ he thought to her, leading her back toward the stables. _:If she won't send for a healer, I'll take care of you myself. We all took a course in Companion medicine.:_

_:I'll remind you of what you can't remember:_ she said, limping alongside him.

Storena offereda vet, but Ronan said once again that Kira wasn't a horse. He needed a healer, but Storena didn't send for one. Probing outward, Ronan received the feeling that she would be very glad to have Kira dead or crippled. She felt that Ronan cared more about his "horse" than he did about her, and that love for Kira kept him from loving her. Ronan decided to deal with the situation at that moment.

"Do you realize what will happen to me if Kira becomes fevered from this wound and dies?" he demanded. "I'll either die or go mad. Heralds and Companions don't outlive one another.We have very special bonds, and the only pair to ever break that bond went mad and killed themselves the same day within an hour of each other. Is that what you want to happen?"

She turned white and shook her head, horrified at such a possibility.

"Then call for a healer, dammit!"

Thankfully, she did, and Ronan was spared from having to strangle her.

_:Hopefully she'll come close enough for me to kick her while my leg spasms as he or she is pulling out the bolt: _Kira said cheerfully, given the circumstances. _:It'll serve the silly chit right.:_

With Ronan coaching the healer on how to treat a Companion, they were able to remove the bolt (it caused them both to cry out in shared pain) and clean,stitch, and bandage the wound. Once that was done, Ronan fetched enough straw for threeCompanions and piled it up in a bed for her after sending a soldier off for lots of grain, and once Kirarequested them, apples, carrots, and some sugar.

_:Are you all right? Comfortable:_ he asked as she settled herself on her bed and gave the grain bucket an appraising look.

_:I'm fine, love:_ she said as he filled up her water bucket to the brim. _:I just wish I could give that woman a kick. Give her one for me, will you:_

_:I intend to:_ he said, setting her bucket within easy reach and leaving the stables. Storena stood outside, waiting.

"We have to talk," he snapped, leading the way back to the palace. "Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 8

"What did you think you were doing?" Ronan snarled as soon as he and Storena had reached his quarters. "Did you think that if Kira had been killed I would have had room in my heart for you? Did you think that if you kept me here I would accept being forced to marry you?"

Storena stared at him. "But I explained to you why we have to marry!"

He glared at her. "Sorry, Your Majesty, but we do not have the Twain in Valdemar. We do not force people into marriages."

He saw her face darken and wondered if he had gone too far. "You're not in Valdemar!" she snapped.

"I was aware of that!" he snapped back. He stopped, took a breath, counted to ten, and then said, "Storena, do you want to marry me, or are you planning a wedding solely on the words of Father Kendar?"

He could see her taking deep breaths in an effort to keep calm. "I want to marry you, Ronan, not because of what Father Kendar said, but because that as soon as I saw you, I loved you. In this palace, in this court, you are the only one who has ever looked me in the eyes. Even though you are a diplomat and have to do the diplomatic dance every day, you have always managed to be completely honest with me. You have never lied or misled me, and even when I made you uncomfortable, you were always polite and kind. I began to suspect we were of a pairing about a week after you came, when I began to dream of you at night. You were always in white, I in black, and we were of a pair. We loved one another. You held me while I held you. How can you say, that after all this, we are not a pair?"

Ronan swallowed. This was considerably beyond the infatuation he'd originally expected. The woman was near tears. How could he tell her that he did not love her (in all truth, she frightened him a little with her intensity) without crushing her completely?

"So you're saying you want to marry me," Ronan said, feeling a little lost.

She looked at him, and the fire in her eyes made him want to take a few steps back. "Yes, Ronan, I want to marry you very much."

He decided to be direct with her. "I do not love you, Storena," he said, shaking his head. "In truth, you frighten me a bit with your. . .intensity. I do not think I can marry you. I know I cannot."

She nodded. "You do not have to love me when we marry," she said, going to his side and putting an arm around his waist. "Most arranged marriages I've seen have always come out well; with couples who hated one another before the wedding adoring one another within a few months. I already adore you, Ronan. All it would take would be for you to get to know me a little more."

He looked at her and pointedly stepped away from her. He fought down a wince at the flash of hurt on her face, but he knew it had to be done. He did not love her, and he was also a Thoughtsenser. He could pick up on her thoughts, and they were beginning to frighten him.

_He doesn't know how much I love him. . . I have to keep him here, no matter what. . .He is god to my goddess, and he needs me. . .he needs me to direct him. . .How do I keep him here?_ Then he received an impression of locked doors, sleeping potions, and laming Kira. His heart clenched, and he knew had to find a way to get out of there.

Ronan made a decision. "I understand what you're saying, Storena," he said, turning to face her. "And I understand your reasons and motivations. I understand that right now, I have no choice but to remain here while Kira heals. I shall stay with her until she is well. I am flattered that you have such feeling for me, but I will not marry you, even if I should gain some measure of regard for you. You are not kindly disposed towards my Companion, and she is not kindly disposed towards you. You are not as harmless as you appear to be, and we do not trust you. No, Storena, I will not marry you, and I will not be your husband even if I were forced to go through the ceremony."

He saw the blaze of anger after it hit his shields. "Do you think that your consent is needed? If you are present at the ceremony, then it is assumed you have consented! Trust me, Ronan, you'll be my husband within two weeks!"

His stomach churned as he heard confirmation of Kira's supposition that his consent was not needed here. At that moment, all of the stress he'd been undergoing doubled back on him, and in combination with the reaction fatigue from extending his gifts last night, he felt his knees buckle. Storena gasped as he hit the floor and rushed to his side.

"Ronan? Ronan? Are you all right? Oh, goddess, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have been so harsh! Ronan, please say something!"

_:You could always glare at her and say 'something':_ Kira suggested. _:That always makes the Trainees laugh.:_

_:That's not funny, dearling:_ he told her as he fought his way to a sitting position. Storena was still kneeling beside him, as pale as he felt. "I hadn't been lying when I said I was ill," he said, slowly getting to his feet. "My body just reminded me that I'd been doing a little too much tonight."

She nodded, looking him up and down. "I'll get a healer to take care of your cuts and wrist if you like," she said. "I'll walk you back to your quarters. I don't think you should be left alone just yet."

Ronan thought about it. _:Kira, would you like me to come and share your stall:_

He felt her refusal before she even said it. _:No, Chosen. I'm all right since you have taken such good care of me, and I would feel better if you are in a proper bed instead of being out here wrapped up in your cloak. You go rest, and I'll see you in the morning.:_

_:All right, love:_ he told her, sending her a pulse of love. _:You rest, too.:_

_:I'm almost asleep:_ she answered.

Even though Ronan told Storena that he could make it to his room on his own she walked with him. Once he was in his room, she rang for Neran and sent him off for a healer while Ronan sank gratefully into a well-padded chair. He ached everywhere, his gashes stung, and his wrist was throbbing. He closed his eyes for a moment, and he jumped when he felt a warm wet cloth touch the gash on his face. Opening his eyes, he saw that Storena was standing next to his chair, trying to clean his cuts.

That was when the healer came in, a different one than the younger man who had come to the stables. This one was older, jolly-looking, with a face wreathed with laugh lines and twinkling eyes. Seeing Storena attempting to take care of Ronan, he chuckled.

"Trying to take care of your man already, hmm, Your Majesty?" he chuckled, making Ronan want to kick him. "Good, good, good. Best start your duties early, goddess-lady. It's your role to watch out for him and his role to accept it. Good work."

The healer fussed, fluttered, and chuckled, remarking over Ronan's broken wrist and dozens of gashes.

"How did you get these, lad? Slide across a gravel lot?" he teased.

"Actually, it was more like sliding on a cobble street," Ronan answered, feeling the sting of the antiseptic that the healer used. Once his cuts were cleaned, the healer looked at his wrist, set it (with Ronan gritting his teeth the whole time), bandaged it, and gave it a little amount of healing to start it knitting.

"Now, since you can't bandage most of these cuts, it's up to you to keep them clean and to dab them with this antiseptic several times a day. In the morning, after lunch, after supper, and before you go to bed are ideal times. Wear a clean outfit every day and a clean set of sleeping clothes at night. If you get filthy for any reason, take a hot bath as soon as possible and dab the cuts again. You don't want to risk an infection! The fatigue should clear up with rest and good food. Your wrist should be all right, I'll come again for another healing tomorrow, just don't get the splint wet. All right?"

Ronan nodded and thanked him, and Storena saw the healer to the door. While her back was turned, Ronan got out of his chair and headed for the bathroom after fishing a clean set of sleeping clothes out of his saddlebags that had somehow made their way back to his room. Perhaps a page had brought them?

"Ronan, what are you doing? You should be resting!" she protested, coming after him.

"I'm going to go take a bath," he told her. "I'm sweaty and grimy and I can't stand it anymore."

She nodded. "All right. I'll wait out here and help you with the antiseptic when you're finished."

He shook his head. "Thank you, no. I can do that myself. Right now, I just want some time to be alone."

Again, she nodded, and he disappeared into the bathroom. He ran the hottest bath he could stand and soaked, allowing himself to become slightly waterlogged. He scrubbed and rinsed, hissing in surprise whenever he hit one of his cuts. How could tiny little gashes hurt so much?

Once he was finished, he drained the tub, dried off, dressed, and went out into his room again. Thankfully, Storena was gone, but Neran was standing there, looking very disapproving.

"Hello, Neran," he said, pleasantly. "What's with the unhappy face?"

"I thought I told you to call me if you needed anything!" the boy complained. "That's what I'm here for!"

"You wanted me to call you when I planned to leave?" Ronan asked, surprised.

"I could have carried your packs for you!" Neran snapped, turning down the Herald's bed properly and smoothing the sheets. He fetched a hot brick from the fire, wrapped it in a towel, and inserted it into the bottom of the bed under the blankets.

"Neran, it's summer," he protested, but the young man glared at him.

"It's nippy out tonight," he said, fussing with the blankets. "Besides, that'll bake out any aches and pains you have."

Realizing that Neran was right, Ronan thanked the boy and crawled into bed. The heat seeped into his muscles, and he sighed in contentment. Seeing that the Herald was almost asleep, Neran turned down the lamp, shaded it, and took his candle with him, confident that by the time he closed the door, the Herald would be asleep. Turning at the door, he saw that he was right.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ronan was allowed to laze about for the next few days. He slept late, ate when he was hungry, and spent about all his time with Kira. Neran hovered and watched and fussed, hardly allowing him to do anything for himself. The boy could be seen hovering wherever the Herald was, and he often shooed away visitors and stablehands so the pair wouldn't be disturbed. Neran's services weren't really needed, since Storena had sent a pair of bodyguards for her "consort." Ronan wasn't fooled: He knew they were watchdogs, but he wasn't about to let them bother him.

Kira lazed about as well. She woke when her Herald did, shared meals with him, and was ready with comforting words or amusing quips as her Herald needed. It was no secret that Ronan was worried about Storena and the approaching "wedding." Courtiers dropped by to congratulate him, and he could see wagons coming in from the city, laden with all sorts of things that screamed "wedding!" to him.

_:This is ridiculous: _Kira said one morning as a group of minstrels walked by, discussing what they had to play for the wedding. _:I've never seen so many preparations for a wedding before. Even though she's a queen, it doesn't require a group of one hundred minstrels to play for a reception, and they don't all need to be dressed in new livery, either! Their dress uniforms are fine; I've seen them:_

Ronan sighed. "It's her wedding to the other half of her Pair, or haven't you heard?" he muttered to her. "No expense shall be spared."

_:What's even more ridiculous is that all of it shall be wasted on the intended groom:_ she pointed out. _:I can tell you're not looking forward to any of this.:_

_:I'm not:_ he admitted, switching to Mindspeech. _:I mean, I don't intend to go to the ceremony that's been planned, or the reception, or even spend the wedding night with her. She's going to be very embarrassed.:_

_:It will serve her right. What was that last message from home about:_

Ronan smiled. _:It was a letter from everyone at the Collegium. They're indignant at what's happened, and they're sending some help.:_

_:They are? Who:_ Kira asked, interested.

_:Stardancer:_ he told her, grinning, looking forward to her reaction.

_:OH:_ she exclaimed, surprised. _:Stardancer:_

Everyone at the Collegium knew Stardancer. He was an anomaly: The first Tayledras ever Chosen to be a Herald, Chosen by a flamboyant stallion called Garyn. With Stardancer had come his bondbird, Freea (a handsome cooperihawk with a penchant for riding on Garyn's poll), and a hertasi named Gashen. Since he'd been Chosen at 20 and his Valdemaran was sketchy, special concessions had been made for Stardancer. He'd been given the benefit of tutors, and since Gashen had insisted, had been allowed to have Gashen continue serving him. He took his turns at Collegium chores just like any other Trainee because he found them fun, not because they were necessary, and he left everyone in awe of his ease with lessons. Within a month he'd learned almost perfect Valdemaran, and he'd learned rudimentary Karsite as well. Another month went by before he was fluent in that tongue. He'd never received less-than-perfect marks in any class he chose to take. He had not been a fighter when he arrived at the Collegium, but three months under the Weaponmaster's tutelage had left him able to surpass his teacher. He was a mage of Master level, but the most he ever did with his magic was to help others accomplish tasks that needed doing. It took him only two years to earn his Whites, and Gashen, after seeing how plain and utilitarian they were, had shuddered, taken them, and managed to turn them into Tayledras Whites, complete with beautiful trims and linings and Tayledras style. It was a standing joke within the Collegium that Gashen's sensibilities could not be offended. Gashen, in answer, would simply sniff and get his revenge later, usually by tying someone's best clothes in knots.

Stardancer was most useful in Haven, so that was where he was stationed, but he could be useful anywhere. He was known best for his astonishing ability to learn, and he still took advanced classes with the Blues. His intellect made him able to slip into a place and figure out how to escape it with a minimum of notice. He'd conducted no few rescues, so it made sense that Haven would send him to help Ronan.

_:Any idea when he'll arrive:_ Kira asked, interested.

_:None. They just told me to watch for him.:_

_:Well, good. If Stardancer can't help us out of here, no one can:_ she said, glancing at the bodyguards significantly. _:I feel rather sorry for them, really.:_ She sent him an image of Stardancer fighting them, leaving them in sorry heaps on the ground.

Space

Ronan was awoken the next morning by a feeling of enjoyment in the back of his mind. Surprised, he reached out and contacted Kira, who was not paying the slightest attention to her Herald.

_:Oh, that's the spot, yes, that's perfect:_ he heard, leaving him feeling very surprised. _:Just press a little harder with that currycomb, now.:_

_:Kira:_ Ronan said, getting out of bed and reaching for some clothes. _:Who are you talking to:_

_:This lovely girl who came in and started grooming me after seeing how tangled my mane and tail were. I must have tossed a lot in my sleep last night. Oh…that's perfect. That's lovely. I don't think she hears me, but she has such gifted hands. She's managing to find all of my itchy spots. Ohhh. Yes, get my withers, that's wonderful. Keep doing that.:_

Ronan dropped back onto his bed and laughed out loud. Kira was a bit of a sybarite, and she loved being groomed. If someone were willing to groom her, she was willing to let them.

That was when he remembered Storena's feelings towards Kira and felt himself turn cold. After receiving a wordless burst of his fears, Kira reassured him quickly.

_:Don't worry, Chosen. I thought of that, and I did a little searching just in case. There's nothing malevolent in her, and she's never even seen Storena. She's a scullery maid in the Palace, and she's newly come from home. Her father kept a stable, and she was homesick, and she wandered in here hoping to feel better. Would you like to see what she looks like:_

_:Certainly:_ he said, intrigued. He Felt Kira take hold of his consciousness and hold it alongside hers, allowing him to see out of her eyes. It was odd: his focal points rushed to the sides of his head, and there was a blind spot right in front. Some things were blurry and others were not, but when he moved his head things moved in and out of focus. Turning his head, he saw a girl who appeared about eight feet tall, with curly brown hair that hung down her back, tan skin, and a plain dress. When she looked at him, he saw bright brown eyes that smiled. He found himself smiling in response and wished he knew her name.

That was when he felt the currycomb. It felt so good! The closest he'd ever felt to it had been when he'd had someone scratch his back lightly with their fingernails. This girl was getting every inch of him with the currycomb, and then she switched to the dandy brush. As Kira sighed in delight, so did he. When a particularly itchy spot was scratched, he shivered in response. As knots of tension were worked away, he relaxed, blessing Kira for allowing him to feel what she felt.

_:I thought you'd enjoy that:_ Kira said as the girl rubbed her down with a cloth. _:Ohh, that feels good. Doesn't that feel good:_

_:Yes, it does: _he admitted. _:I could do this all day.:_

_:So could I.:_

That was when Ronan heard the girl's voice for the first time through Kira's ears.

"My name is Nerys, sweet, if you want to know," she said, smoothing Kira's mane. "I'll come back, if you like."

With Ronan's prodding her to do it, Kira reached out and nuzzled her in thanks. Nerys laughed, patted Kira's nose, and left the stables.

_:Oh, I like her:_ Kira said, sounding very satisfied. _:She knew what she was doing, too. Very fine girl.:_

Ronan was thoughtful. _:How old do you think she is:_

_:I'd say twenty, or thereabouts: _Kira said, giving herself a shake. _:Oh, she's such a sweetheart. You should try to be here when she's here next.:_

Ronan smiled and nodded to himself. Something about that girl made him want to see her again, and this time see her for himself. Still smiling, Ronan dressed and got ready for his day.

Space

Ronan was on his way to the stables the next morning, and he was in a bit of a rush. Kira said Nerys was there, grooming her, and he wanted to meet her properly, but as he was barreling down the hallway from his quarters, he almost bashed into a man who was trailing half a dozen assistants. There was quite a traffic jam in the corridor while everyone got themselves sorted out, and Ronan was about to apologize when the man got a look at his face and his eyes lit up.

"Ahh, Herald Ronan, just the person I need to see!" he gushed, grabbing the Herald's hand and pumping it up and down.

"I'm sorry?" Ronan said, taken aback. He didn't recall this person at all, and he'd thought he knew every courtier in the Palace.

"Of course, congratulations on your betrothal and upcoming wedding, but right now, there's work to be done!" he said enthusiastically, crooking his elbow into Ronan's and leading the way back to Ronan's quarters. "There are measurements to take, fabrics to select, trims to match…"

The man let himself in the right room, and his assistants began to bustle about in the bedroom, moving furniture out of the way in order to create a large space in the center of the room. From nowhere, folding chairs and tables were set up, and bolts of different fabric were pulled out. Sewing kits appeared, and someone set up a triple mirror in the corner of the room. A low wooden table was set up, and the man deposited Ronan there before placing a tape measure around his neck.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Ronan asked once there was a lull in the chaos.

The man looked at him and grinned. "I am Master Larens, Herald Ronan," he said, beginning to measure the Herald's shoulders. "I am the best tailor and costumer in the city, and Her Majesty has commissioned me to make your wedding finery."

Ronan blinked. "Wedding finery? Oh." He felt like an idiot. With all of the preparations going on, it hadn't occurred to him that Storena would order new clothes for him as well. No, he'd figured that if he were forced to go to the ceremony that was being planned, he'd wear a set of his own Whites.

Master Larens was efficient. Within moments he'd gotten his assistants to strip Ronan to smallclothes and he had the Herald measured. Then, while Ronan was wrapped up in a light robe, Larens began sketching, muttering to himself all the while.

"Let's see…a light, slim frame, but he has some good muscle on him, and he has a bit of gracefulness about him….it should be something he can dance in, since he'll be wearing it to the reception afterward, but it should be regal, because he's marrying the Queen, after all, and it will have to be white, but what kind of white?...silk or velvet?...No, what about a fine linen?...No, that's not right, either…"

_:Kira: _he said, reaching for her mind with his.

_:It looks as if I'm going to be a while:_ he said, and then explained what had happened.

_:All right, love. Try not to kill him.:_

It was a close thing. Ronan ground his teeth as he was measured, re-measured, and then had swatches of fabric held up to his face. Then, as Larens barked orders, Ronan watched in amazement as new smallclothes were cut out and stitched together for him. They were of course, white, but these smallclothes were a bit more elegant than the usual ones.

"For your wedding night," Larens explained, when Ronan asked what they were for.

That was when Storena showed up. Ronan flushed and wrapped the robe tighter around himself, but she didn't seem to notice. Instead, she chose fabrics, trims, and linings while Larens sighed in bliss over her impeccable combinations. She approved a final design, and sent Larens on his way. With a bow to each of them, Larens swept out, his assistants and his equipment in tow.

"You might have warned me he was coming," Ronan muttered as he grabbed his clothes and headed into his bathing room to change.

Storena shrugged. "If I had, you would have just avoided being measured, Ronan. This way, I know it would have been done."

"You're wasting money," he called as he shut the door on her. "I won't marry you, and I won't be forced into it."

"We will see," she called back, and he heard her leave.

Space

The wedding was to be in two days, and Ronan was increasingly nervous. Kira was healing very well, but she was still unable to travel any distance, and there was still no sign of Stardancer. Everywhere he went in the palace, people congratulated him and wished him well. Wedding gifts began arriving in his quarters, and Neran was kept at a run answering the door and cataloging the gifts and who had sent them. All of his time was being taken up by what was deemed "necessary" by Father Kendar, who arrived that morning to tell Ronan what would be expected of him as a husband. The old man had been droning for hours, and Ronan was increasingly bored. He took notes not because he cared, but because he felt that having something to do with his hands would keep him awake and help him learn something he hadn't been seeing before. His notes looked like this:

Duties of Husband in Ashten, God half of the Pair

He is to trust in his wife and trust his welfare to her. _(oh, sure…)_

He is to obey her and leave decisions up to her. _(not going to happen.)_

He is to be affectionate, but he is to allow her to initiate said affection, unless he is feeling bold. _(NEVER going to happen!)_

It is a matter of tradition for the husband not to leave the wedding suite for a week after the wedding night. The reason for this is because he will be exhausted and will need all the rest he can get. _(Exhausted from WHAT? Hope this is not what I think it is.)_

He is to share sleeping quarters with his wife, but he may have a private sitting room of his own should he feel put upon and wishes to withdraw.

A husband should have friends as his wife cannot amuse him all the time, but they must not come between him and his wife. _(I'd prefer friends to a wife right now.)_

Should an argument arise, the husband is to allow his wife to state her feelings first and then he should state his. He should listen to her, since it is likely she will be right most of the time, as the god is inexperienced and naïve. The amount of god in the husband will make him inexperienced and naïve as well. _(This is scary! Will I ever be RIGHT if we argue?)_

A husband should honor his wife. He is to defend her with his words should someone slander her. He is to fight for her if fighting is required, since war and combat is in the god's purview. He is to support her in all she attempts and encourage her. Also, honor implies obedience. Again, a husband should obey his wife. If a husband is disobedient, it is the wife's duty to punish the husband in accordance with the magnitude of the disobedience, and it is the husband's duty to thank her after the punishment for correcting him. _(! This is bad, VERY bad.)_

A husband must never strike his wife, even if she strikes him. If a wife strikes her husband and he is strongly god, then it is discipline. _(Oh, this is not fair! She could beat me black and blue and claim it was discipline!)_

It is a husband's duty to confess to a member of the Temple any transgressions he may have committed, worries or doubts he may have, etc. Also, the husband should remember that those of the Temple can be absolutely trusted with all he says, but if the Temple member feels it necessary, the Temple member can inform the wife of her husband's actions, thoughts, and feelings. It is for his good that the Temple member does so. Once the wife is informed, steps can be taken to help the husband. _(I don't even get the benefit of clergy!)_

Ronan stared at his notes in dismay. It seemed as though he was trapped in a system designed to make prisoners! What was he going to do? Where _was_ Stardancer? He had no idea what to do, and every moment was making him feel as if he were a mouse with a hawk swooping in on him.

Father Kendar continued droning, and Ronan continued jotting things down, such as his duties as consort. He was not allowed to risk his life until an heir was born and had reached the age of ten, he was to appear at the queen's side at all state functions, and he was to support the queen's interests at all times. He was certain that there was never going to be an heir as he did not intend to share a bed with Storena, and as for the rest of it…well, he was going to keep his own counsel.

Father Kendar finished with a final admonition to Ronan about being a good husband and left. Ronan allowed himself to droop in his chair, head in his hands as he fought off a headache.

Someone cleared his throat nearby, and Ronan looked up, spotting Captain Aldiss beside him.

"Oh, it's good to see a friendly face," Ronan said, rubbing his left temple.

"I'm sure," Aldiss said, studying the notes and wincing. "I feel sorry for you, though. The husband who is very strongly god never has an easy time of it, nor does the wife who is mostly god."

"Is this _really_ what I have to do?" Ronan asked, worried.

Captain Aldiss took a chair beside him. "Unfortunately, yes. That's why I came to see you. I knew Father Kendar would be coming to tell you this today. You see, the religion has changed from what it was: What used to be a set of simple vows have now become a way for people to declare their natures "goddess" and their intended mates' natures "god," thus allowing the "goddess" individuals to control their intendeds. Many of the priests are corrupt, and they can be bribed. I know of one instance this happened. My father bribed a priest to say that my mother was the perfect match of god for his goddess, and they were married. He was allowed to control her utterly since her nature was god and his was goddess. He was…cruel to her. I tried to help her, but Father controlled the household too well for me to do much. But, in spite of Father, we found ways for her to gain a little freedom. Would you like me to share them with you?"

Ronan stared at him. He appreciated Aldiss telling him this, but what ways…? "Yes, please," he said, ready to listen.

"First of all, if you can find a healer to be your accomplice, then you can fake sick. Since the god is weaker than the goddess, it's only natural for him to be ill frequently, especially if Storena is as…ah, affectionate as she's portrayed as being. She's had lovers, and most of them talked about what she was like. You're not going to have an easy time sharing quarters with her. It's natural for her to tire you out, and it's natural for you to need to rest. A healer can tell her that you need a break, and she'll leave you alone. She might even send you to one of her country estates for a prolonged rest if she believes the 'illness' is serious enough."

Ronan took all this in, and said, thoughtfully, "Anything else I can do?"

"Pilgrimages. It's thought very proper for a god-natured person to do, and there are plenty of sites all around Ashten. You don't have to pray there or anything, all you have to do is go there. It'll give you a chance to travel some, and Storena's duties will keep her here. Also, there are mercy missions for you to go on: Taking goods to the poor, visiting the sick, and things like that."

Ronan nodded. "That's…interesting. Why do you tell me all this?"

Aldiss smiled. "Because I promised Mother I would help anyone in her predicament who needed it, and because I felt you needed help. Also, I like you, Ronan. You're a good man, and you don't deserve to be eaten alive by Storena. She's a good queen, but she's a selfish person. I have a feeling that Ashten will slowly begin to suffer from that selfishness. She wants you and means to have you, but that doesn't mean she has to keep you prisoner here. There might be a vacation you go on where you can disappear, and if you do that, then there are quite a few of us who wouldn't blame you."

With that, Aldiss took his leave, promising Ronan help in the future should he need it. Ronan thanked him, feeling unsettled but a little hopeful. That night, when he went to sleep, he thought not of a husband's duties or ways to evade Storena, but of a pair of bright brown eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The last thing Ronan had expected to be doing the day before his so-called wedding was shopping, especially after his first official meeting with Nerys shortly before they'd left. Shopping had been the last on his very long to-do list, but he'd been gotten up early by his bodyguards (and Neran, fussing at them in the background) and bundled into his clothes. He'd had a hurried breakfast, and in between sips of tea had been told in an iron voice that he had yet to select a wedding present for the queen.

"Wedding present?" he blurted, almost choking on his tea. "I don't intend to marry her!"

The guards exchanged knowing looks that made Ronan want to throw something. "Of course not," the taller one said. "But still, you should get one. It will be part of the ceremony for you and Her Majesty to exchange them. Also, there are other gifts to buy as well."

"What others?" Ronan demanded, not understanding. Dearest gods, did he have to buy return gifts for everyone who had sent him gifts? No one had told him this! Oh, what diplomatic nightmare had been unleashed?

"Ah, wedding night gifts," said the shorter guard (Ronan had yet to learn their names). "Private gifts between the two of you."

For some reason, the taller guard's ears turned a brilliant pink while the shorter one went red. Ronan did not like the direction this was going.

"I can explain," Aldiss said, poking his head in the door. "If that's all right, Ronan."

"By all means," Ronan pleaded, thanking all of his lucky stars that Aldiss had come as well. He asked the bodyguards to wait outside while Neran served up breakfast for the captain.

"Wedding night gifts tend to be rather risqué," Aldiss had told him, once Neran had absented himself. "They're _extremely_ private, and some of them aren't discussed in public. They're called 'wedding night gifts' because they are meant to be exchanged and enjoyed on your wedding night."

Ronan felt himself blanch first and then go a brilliant red. "I hesitate to ask this, but has your lady any idea what the queen has picked out for me?"

Aldiss gave Ronan a grin. "Not to worry a bit. They are supposed to be _private_ gifts, but she showed them all to her ladies. You are going to receive a fine set of white silk sleeping clothes, complete with robe and slippers, some jewelry (such as a diamond pin, a name bracelet where your names are entwined, a silver pendant bearing the crest of Ashten, and a silver circlet for official functions) a good-sized library of your own (all new editions, I might add), a swimming costume for holidays at a lake, and a personal grooming kit in silver inscribed with your name."

Ronan nearly fell out of his chair with relief. Nothing too _risqué_ there! But still, if he had to actually get her something, how could he match any of it?

"I heard that your shopping expedition had been planned for you today, so I thought I'd offer my company," Aldiss said, fighting down a smile at the Herald's grateful look. "I can point out what is and what is not appropriate, and give you some pointers. Would you like me to come along?"

And so, once Ronan had accepted, they set out to the Merchant's Wedge in a carriage that had been readied for them.

_:I wish you could come with us: _Ronan told Kira as he paused in the stables to say hello and to tell her where they were going.

_:I can still give you advice if you let me see everything. Shall we pick out something hideous or tacky:_

_:Oh, I intend a great deal of both:_ he answered, grinning and scratching her poll. _:She'll be mortified, and it will be _legitimate_ mortification if I tell her such gifts are the best that one can give their 'love' in Valdemar.:_

Kira nearly fell over in laughter. _:Oh, don't do that, Chosen! She may think we have no taste:_

_:It's what I'm hoping for:_ he told her candidly. _:Perhaps she may grow tired of my awful taste and send us home.:_

_:Let's hope so:_ Kira answered, and then she turned her head. _:Oh, Nerys is here.:_

At that announcement, Ronan's head whipped around, and by doing so, he inadvertently startled the young woman who had just entered the stables. Immediately, she cast her eyes down and curtsied deeply, her face flushed.

"I beg your pardon, my lord," she said. "I did not know you were here. I-I'll go, if you want…"

"Oh, no, not at all," he said, feeling his own face flush. "You're Nerys, aren't you? Kira told me about you, and about how you'd been coming down to see her. I appreciate all you've done very much, and we're deeply grateful to you." He'd added a little bow to show his gratitude, but if anything, that had made her more ill-at-ease. She stammered something about it being no trouble, and when he'd been about to insist that it _must _have been a great deal of trouble on her part, Kira "hissed" him quiet.

_:You're scaring her:_ she admonished. _:Also, she thinks you're condescending to her by being so courtly. Speak plainly, dolt:_

"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable or anything like that," he said, dropping the courtly manner. "It's just…I wanted you to know that we appreciate all you've done for Kira. Kira says that you're always welcome to come see her here or anywhere on the grounds, your company is always welcome."

Nerys stared at him, but simply nodded. Shortly after that, the two watchdogs arrived and escorted Ronan to the carriage, not listening to any protests. They reached the Merchant's Wedge, and Aldiss first took him to a ladies' clothing shop, one where Ronan could purchase a suitable gift. According to tradition, he had to find a gift for her for every one that she planned to give him. This was not going to be easy. From what the watchdogs had told him, accounts had been opened for him at any and every store in the Wedge, and there was no limit on money.

True to his word, Ronan allowed Kira to see everything that he was looking at, and he was passing a counter when she called out to him to stop and look at something.

_:This: _he asked, picking up a large, baggy nightdress that had been left on the counter.

_:Yes: _Kira cried in excitement. _:It's awful, isn't it? Like something you would give your old granny rather than a young woman! Get that, Chosen:_

Ronan laughed and purchased the nightdress, explaining his reasoning to Aldiss in whispers so the watchdogs wouldn't hear. Aldiss burst into laughter, holding his sides, and lauded the Herald on his choice.

After that followed a hideous tiara, several very tacky pieces of jewelry, shallow, poorly written novels,a bottle of truly _awful _perfume, and several other items that were intended to make Storena's skin crawl. Ronan couldn't help grinning as he received very odd looks from the clerks behind the counters. They all knew whohe was, and he could read the thoughts on their faces: "Why on earth is he buying _this_?"

"Are you sure that you wish to purchase this, Ambassador?" one clerk asked, eyeing the tiara with distaste. Ronan had picked it up to examine it, and once the young man told him that it was the mistake of an apprentice jeweler, Ronan ordered it wrapped up, assuring him that he was certain of his choice.

They returned to the palace (Ronan and Aldiss trying hard not to laugh) and left the packages to be delivered later that day to the wedding suite. Ronan left the carriage in the stableyard and went to see Kira. As he drew near, he saw that her coat was gleaming, and she looked as glossy as an illustration in a book. Ronan stared, dumbstruck.

_:Nerys:_ she said by way of an explanation. _:She groomed me after you left. Ohh, it felt good.:_

_:I can imagine:_ Ronan told her._ :Are you all right:_

_:I'm fine. I'm just wishing we could travel. This wretched wound _still _hurts:_

Ronan thought about this. _:How often has that healer been coming down here to see you:_

_:He's only come twice since that night, and he hasn't done more than change the bandage:_ Kira muttered. _:Could you make sure he comes more often? I want to get out of this stupid stable and go a little further than the privy outside:_

_:Not to worry, I'll take care of it right away:_ Ronan promised. _:I have a feeling that Storena may have something to do with this, but I'll make certain before I point any fingers. Is there anything else you'd like? I could have something sent to you.:_

Kira nuzzled him. _:Apples:_ she suggested hopefully.

_:I'll see what I can do:_ he promised. Soon after that, he left and made his way to the kitchens, leaving his bodyguards trailing behind him. As he went in the door (after being careful to wipe his feet on the mat in front of it, he could remember how much cooks valued cleanliness from all the times the cook at the Collegium had lectured him on it) all conversation stopped as everyone dropped what he or she was doing and bowed low. The cook came forward, wiping her hands on her apron and bowed in front of him.

"What can I do for you, Ambassador?" she asked deferently.

"I was wondering if you could spare some apples for my Companion," he said, giving her a friendly smile. "She's longing for something sweet."

"Of--of course," the woman assured him. "I'll send someone with them at once."

"Thank you very much, madam," he said, and then he threaded his way through the kitchen and up the stairs, much to the amusement of everyone there. Once the Herald was out of earshot, a flurry of talk broke loose.

"He's so nice!"

"He's worked in a kitchen, I do believe! Did you see how he managed not to knock anything over?"

"He may be an ambassador, but he treats everyone he meets like a lord or lady! Such manners! He don't put no airs on at all, the dear man!"

"It's a pity he has to marry that Storena!"

The only person who did not say anything was over in the corner, peeling roots. Nerys stayed quiet and allowed her thoughts to rest on the Herald, and she wished with all her might that she was the Queen so she might be able to marry the ambassador. She had no idea why she was indulging in such a daydream; she just knew that it made her happier than any other thought.


	10. Chapter 10

Ronan came slowly awake the next day and wondered what had awoken him. He sat up, went to the window, and flung it open, allowing the breeze to come inside. With the breeze came the sound of bells ringing, and he knew that they were being rung in honor of the wedding.

_:Kira? Are you awake:_ he asked, reaching out for his Companion's mind.

_:I've been awake since dawn: _she grumbled. _:There's been all this hullabaloo in the garden while they were setting up for the reception. People coming and going, people getting lost and poking their noses in here, people shouting orders to one another, and any amount of nonsense. The party's supposed to take place in the ballroom, but with all the noise out there, you'd never believe it.:_

Ronan made a little sound of sympathy in the back of his throat--he knew what it was like to be kept up all night. Radiating sympathy to Kira, he felt her cheer up, and then he chatted with her a bit before wandering into the bathroom. When he came back out, intending to clamber back into bed, he was brought up short when he saw his watchdogs in the doorway.

"Good morning," he said, wishing they hadn't come. "What do you two want this early?"

"Well, it is your wedding day, Ambassador," the shorter one said. "We've come to help you prepare."

Ronan glared at him. "There isn't going to be a wedding, so you would really be wasting your time, wouldn't you? Put it to better use and go find something to amuse you. I'm going back to bed. This is a positively unholy hour."

He saw the two of them exchange looks as he dropped back into the embrace of pillows and blankets and pulled one of the latter up over his head. He shifted about, trying to get comfortable and actually felt himself begin to relax when he heard someone else enter.

"What's everyone lurking in the doorway for?" Father Kendar's voice wanted to know. "Is Ambassador Ronan up yet?"

"He was, but now he's back in bed," he heard the taller one say.

Ronan heard Father Kendar say something like "piffle!" and felt someone shake his shoulder a moment later. "Time to get up, lad! It's your wedding day, and you have to get ready!" He sounded far too cheerful for Ronan's liking. He ignored the old man until the covers were yanked off of him, allowing the cooler air to wake him up. "Up and at 'em! Her Majesty has sent you a letter."

Into the middle of all this chaos strode Nerys, who had been sent up with Ronan's breakfast. Ronan, painfully aware that he had only a pair of short sleeping pants on, turned a brilliant scarlet and all but snatched the letter from Father Kendar and murmured his thanks to a very pink Nerys. She left quickly, and Ronan sipped at tea while he read the letter. He felt himself choke and turned even redder. The letter read,

_My Dearest Ronan,_

_Last night was an eternity for me, but now our wedding day is here! Oh, be glad, my love. By this evening we shall be husband and wife. Allow your valets to dress you as soon as your outfit arrives, and a horse will be waiting to take you to the temple where the ceremony is to take place. Father Kendar is bringing this letter to you since he said he needs to talk to you. Listen to him, love. I shall see you at the ceremony. You need have no concern as to tonight, since I'm certain I can help you enjoy it rather than suffer through it._

_All my love,_

_Storena._

_Help me enjoy it!_ Ronan thought, rereading that last line. _She'd better not think we're going to make love! If she does, then she'll be sadly disappointed. _Nothing_ could make me sleep with _her!

He put the letter aside and took another sip of tea, trying to calm his nerves. His stomach was in knots, and he felt his shields slip the slightest bit. Stubbornly, he clamped them down and gained control of himself. It would not do to lose control when he needed it the most. "You said you needed to talk to me, Father Kendar?"

The priest smiled and nodded. "If we could speak privately?" he asked, looking pointedly at Ronan's two bodyguards.

Ronan nodded and the two of them left, leaving only the Herald and the priest in the room. Father Kendar perched on the side of the bed and looked affably at Ronan, who was still trying to get some of the tea down. "Lad, what do you know about the ways of men and women?"

Ronan choked and gave up trying to drink tea. "Wh-what?" he spluttered, too surprised to even think.

"Do you know what to do on your wedding night?" Father Kendar asked more pointedly. "The union between you and Her Majesty will be consummated tonight, and if you don't know what to do, you could have a good deal of confusion and embarrassment. Have you ever had a lover?"

Ronan had heard enough. "That's no one's business but mine!" he snapped, feeling angry enough to strike out at the priest sitting across from him. "Suffice it to say that I know what happens between a man and a woman, and that it will never happen between Storena and I. Nothing could induce me to even share a room with her, let alone a bed."

Father Kendar looked shocked enough for Herald Ronan to have actually hit him. "Lad, despite what you may think, that's not really your choice. Storena will decide if you and she make love tonight or not."

Ronan glared at him. "I think this discussion is over," he said, pushing his breakfast away and heading towards the bathroom for a bath. "Have a pleasant day, Father Kendar."

The priest didn't insist on coming into the bathroom after him, and Ronan slipped thankfully into the hot water. He scrubbed, washed his hair, and was just getting ready to rinse off when his two 'valets' came in.

Ronan dove for the cover of the water. "What are you doing!" he demanded. "Get out!"

"That's not possible, Ambassador," the taller one said. "You should have told us you were going to bathe. There's a routine we have to follow."

Ronan found himself spluttering for the second time that morning as they hurriedly rinsed him off and ran a second bath. Apparently, the routine they had to follow was the traditional preparation for all god-halves of a Pair. It began with a bath using special scented bath oils and salts, and then, he was wrapped up in a robe while his hands and feet were taken care of. His nails were trimmed and buffed, and every bit of callus on his feet and hands was rubbed away using a piece of pumice stone. His hair was washed again with three different types of mixtures, and he found himself placed in a chair while his hair was a given a trim and he was given a shave. Then, his hair was combed with a comb coated in something that would presumably hold the final hairstyle in place and in the meantime nearly pulled his scalp from his skull. By this point, he was thoroughly miserable.

He was even more miserable when he saw the outfit he was expected to put on. All of it was white, but then he'd expected that. White silk, brocade, velvet, silver trim, and white leather. There were the special underthings that Master Laurens had made, and he was put into those first. Following that were the stockings, breeches, shirt, tunic, and gloves. Each piece was heavy with silver embroidery and when he looked closely, he saw that very small white opals, pearls, and diamonds had been sewn onto the fabric. On top of all of that was a coat that swept the floor and was even more heavy with embroidery, trim, and jewels. Every bit of clothing was wildly expensive, and he felt his eyes bulge a little as he calculated the cost. Five large Valdemaran families could eat for years with the amount of money the whole rig was worth!

"Now, about your gift for the queen," the taller one said, approaching him with a small box. "We've prepared it for you, and one of us will carry it during the ceremony, so all you have to do is walk up to the altar. Father Kendar will be the one presenting you, and he'll be waiting for us at the door."

"I'm not marrying her," Ronan insisted, glaring at them both.

"Of course you're not," the shorter one said. "_She's_ marrying _you._"

That did not make him feel better. He tugged at the high collar of the coat, uncomfortable with its tightness. All of the clothes fit very well, but for some reason he felt as if he had a collar around his neck.

Space

He insisted on stopping by the stables to see Kira before they had to leave. He assured her that he would be fine, and that he wished she could come to at least see everything that was going to go on.

_:Don't worry, Chosen. I'm sure that Stardancer is waiting to the very last moment to effect a daring rescue. He always does things that make such good legends later:_ she said, giving his cheek a nuzzle.

_:I just hope that if he's going to rescue us, he does it soon, and that his plan includes getting you away as well: _he answered, scratching under her forelock.

_:Oh, he probably has a nice, padded Companion-sized carriage all ready for me:_ she chuckled.

That was when his two watchdogs arrived, insisting that it was time to go. With a sigh, Ronan went with them, praying that Stardancer would come.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

As Ronan rode his horse through the city, he wondered when Stardancer was going to show up. He was worried: Stardancer had never left a rescue this long before. What if something had happened to him? In the next instant he berated himself for even considering it. Garyn, Freea, and Gashen would be with him, and they would let themselves die rather than let anything happen to Stardancer. Stardancer, in return, would die if anything happened to any of his little "family." They were a closely-knit little group, and they had gotten themselves out of difficult situations before with no worse than a scraped knee. Stardancer would be fine.

He turned away from his thoughts of Stardancer and considered all of the noise around him. People had thronged the streets, leaving only enough space for the wedding party to pass. Ronan rode in front on a white steed dressed in white while his bodyguards rode behind him dressed in black and on black steeds. In front of Ronan was a group of four priests dressed in gold robes, walking down the street, chanting blessings on the union of the Queen with Herald Ronan of Valdemar. Every person in the street was dressed in his or her best, and the street itself had been hung with white streamers. White rose petals floated down through the air, reminding Ronan of a snowfall. On both sides of him people were calling out his name, and he found himself looking each time he heard it. He would give them a polite nod or wave, and then the party pressed onward to the temple.

He'd described all of this to Kira in his mind, but when they turned the corner and he saw the temple, she had to ask him what the matter was.

_:Everything's been white so far, but the temple is done up with black decorations. It's probably to represent the goddess, but now I feel like I'm going to my own funeral.:_

_:Oh.:_ Kira didn't say anything further. She understood completely.

Once they reached the temple stairs, the priests waited for Ronan to dismount before advancing, still chanting blessings. His bodyguards fell in behind him, and Ronan made his way up the stairs. People were still cheering and throwing rose petals, but Ronan felt that they were all cheering for the wrong thing. He wanted nothing more than to jump back on that horse and gallop back to Kira.

Father Kendar met him at the door and took his arm, leading him into a room off to the right. "This way, lad," he said affably, giving the Herald a smile. "We've got some things to take care of before the ceremony."

At Father Kendar's insistence, Ronan knelt before the priest and listened while he read all of a god-husband's duties and obligations aloud. Then, when the formidable list was finished, he recited a final injunction for Ronan to place all his faith in the divine and his wife and to trust that the pairing was the best for him. At the old priest's direction, he removed a glove and held out his hand, which Father Kendar clasped three times in some sort of ceremony. Incense was burned (incense that made him very foggy-headed) and a symbol of some sort was drawn on his forehead with water. With that, the priest assisted him to his feet and told him that they were ready whenever he was. He didn't understand what the old man meant since the feeling of sleepiness had increased with the water symbol on his forehead. He was having a hard time thinking.

"Ready for what?" he mumbled groggily. What had been _in_ that incense?

"Ready for the ceremony, of course!" Father Kendar told him, leading him toward the door. Ronan followed, not really able to resist. Before, he'd been worried and tense and angry at all of the fuss, but now all he wanted was to curl up somewhere and sleep.

Music started as they reached the entrance to the main part of the temple, and everyone stood as Father Kendar led him forward. He saw the altar up ahead, Storena dressed in a fantastic black dress standing in front of it, and mixed in with the crowd were the flames of candles and plumes of smoke rising from even more lighted incense. He knew he was walking in time to the music and that Father Kendar was leading him up the center of the temple, but he felt as if he were floating a few inches above the ground and that someone else was controlling his body. He was, as Kira would have said, out of it.

The next thing he knew, he was standing in front of the altar and Father Kendar was behind it, chanting words. A short while later, he found himself presenting a box to Storena (oh, his wedding present) and found himself accepting a gift from her as well. It was the pendant engraved with the crest of Ashten. He got a look at what she had received from him, and he wondered just what was wrong with that tiara. He was sure that the one he'd bought had been hideous, but this one was gorgeous in every way. Then, he realized that someone must have seen what he'd chosen and thought he'd made a mistake and exchanged it for the one he'd handed her. Then, his mind clouded again, and the next thing he remembered hearing was Father Kendar talking about a drink of some sort. He watched as the priest poured something into a large gold cup and passed it to Storena, who took a mouthful before holding the cup to Ronan's lips. He swallowed it without a protest, too dizzy and sleepy to even avoid doing so.

A choir broke out into song, surprising him, and Storena took his hand and turned, leading him down the center aisle and to the door. As they reached the outside and the people saw their queen and her consort, they burst into cheers that nearly deafened him. An open carriage waited at the bottom of the stairs, and Storena led him down to it and insisted he get in while enough rose petals fell to make him think that a freak blizzard had blown in.

Once he was sitting down and the carriage was moving, the fresh air cleared his head and he was able to think again. Also, he became aware of a very insistent and very worried voice in the back of his head.

_:…Oh, please answer me, Chosen, you've gone all muddle-headed and I can't hear your thoughts anymore! Answer me, what has happened to you, what's going on, are you all right?:_

_:Kira?: _he thought, and then he sagged back into his seat. Gods, that was hard work! He'd never had such trouble before! What on earth had happened?

_:Chosen!:_ Kira said in relief. _:Are you all right? What happened to you?:_

Ronan added it all up in his head and thought about it. _:Seems I was drugged with something. Maybe the incense? I don't know. How long did you lose me for?:_

_:A few hours,:_ she told him. _:Are you feeling better?:_

_:A little bit,:_ he admitted. _:Not so sleepy now.:_

Ronan was going to ask Kira how she was, but he was startled by Storena kissing him. He jumped, and asked her what she thought she was doing.

"Hear the bells ringing? I need to kiss you whenever they ring," she said, giving him a limpid smile. She moved in for a second one, and Ronan fought the urge to duck. Every time a bell rang on the way back to the palace, she kissed him to the accompaniment of cheers. More than once, he turned his head and waved to the crowd in order to avoid being kissed. It was an annoying but very effective way to keep from being kissed breathless.

More white rose petals fell, reminding him again of snow, and every now and then he had to brush himself off or risk being buried. Storena was in the same predicament, but she spent some time trying to help him with brushes that were half-caress, half-brush. For some reason, people watching cheered with approval, and he heard some man in the crowd shout out that they should save that kind of thing for the wedding bed. Quickly Ronan let her know that he could handle brushing off on his own.

They arrived at the palace to the accompaniment of every servant and courtier cheering them, and Ronan looked around anxiously for Kira. A loud _wham_ from the direction of the stables surprised everyone and Kira limped out, looking a little miffed.

_:Some idiot of a stablehand locked the door to my stall, Chosen,:_ she said sweetly, coming to his side. _:Now he can have the joy of fixing it. Are you all right, love? You're awfully pale.:_

_:Just very self-conscious,: _he told her, hugging her neck before giving her a little kiss on the muzzle. _:Everyone's looking at us.:_

_:That's because you look positively gorgeous in that outfit,: _Kira said, nuzzling him and giving a little whicker. _:And because they're horrified that their Queen's new Consort just gave a horse a kiss.:_

_:You're not a horse, you're a fabulous lady!: _he protested, scratching her poll. _:I wish you could come to this ridiculous party that I know is going to take place any minute.:_

_:I'll watch from the window,:_ she said, giving him a wink. _:I'll have you know, however, that when you marry for real, I intend to be part of the wedding party and give you away during the ceremony, not to mention joining in the festivities afterward!:_ She sent him an image of her and a stallion waltzing hoof in hoof alongside Ronan and a faceless bride that had brown hair.

He laughed and yielded to his bodyguards' insistence that his bride was waiting to go in to the reception. He let himself be led along and fought to keep his expression neutral while he heard courtiers wishing them joy on either side. They reached the great hall and Ronan nearly jumped a league when the music started with a crescendo that sent his heart into his throat. It was as if someone had trained those musicians to lie in wait for someone and then frighten the life out of them.

The musicians continued playing while Storena and Ronan stood at the head of a receiving line and greeted all of the guests that had shown up for the wedding. He wasn't expected to say or do anything but stand there and look pleasant, which was what he did. Each couple came up and gave them good wishes, and it took a few hours before the last guest had seen them. At last, Ronan was able to think about something other than smiling and giving little bows to people.

The Great Hall was aptly named, for it was very great. There were tables set up in a U shape around a central floor that was clearly for dancing. The tables had been covered with white tablecloths and had been hung with silver and black swags of silk. Candles had been lit in black and silver candlesticks, and there were fabulous china, crystal, and silver place settings. Storena escorted him to his chair and at her reminder he seated her before taking his own chair. Everyone else sat down, and food was served.

Ronan did not know what it was they were eating, but it was good. He could tell right away that it was soup of some sort, so he busied himself with that in order to avoid having to talk to Storena. Since he sat at Storena's right, he kept up conversation with the lord on his right in between bites of food and that man's conversation with the person on _his _right. He was about to ask the lord if the weather was always so fine this time of year when he felt a hand on his left knee. He moved his leg away from Storena, but she kept it up.

"Stop that," he whispered at last, a little fed up.

"What's the matter?" she asked, smiling archly at him. "Don't like it?"

Ronan resisted the urge to drown her in her soup. She was taking this whole thing too far. He did not intend to play the good husband at all, so she had better realize that very quickly and leave him be. Also, he found himself wishing that Stardancer would hurry up and _get_ there.

Many courses later (he lost count around twenty), Storena stood up, signalling that it was time to start dancing. She held out her hand to him and he let her lead him to the floor, and he remembered that he was supposed to dance the first dance with her alone. Fabulous. He got to show everyone what a terrible dancer the Queen had forced to marry her.

_:You're not a terrible dancer,:_ Kira said lightly. _:You're just tense and feeling as if you don't want to dance right now. How about I help you? I'll count in your head, and you step in time.:_

_:Or maybe I could embarrass her with how poor of a dancer I am,:_ he pointed out, feeling very, very wicked.

_:Carry on,:_ was all Kira said, and she sounded as if she were looking forward to what was going to happen.

There was one problem with Ronan's plan to bother Storena. Once you were taught to do something well, it was very, very hard to stop doing it well and do it poorly again. He tried to move out of time, to drop his feet when he had to step lightly, and he tried to trip so they would go sprawling, but it was impossible to pull off. Storena's next comment ensured his feeling crabby for the rest of the night.

"You're a wonderful dancer, Ronan," she said, pulling him a little closer. "Let's dance as much as we can."

After a few hours of dancing, he was exhausted and ready to stop. He got himself a glass of something to drink and then, because he was too much of a gentleman, he fetched one for Storena.

"Why thank you, dearest," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He frowned.

"Storena, please stop doing things like that," he told her, leading her toward the rotunda. "Let's go out here and talk."

"Let's do," she said sweetly, following him.

They sat down on a handy bench and she turned to him, looking blissfully happy. He almost hated himself for what he was about to say. "Storena, I know that you're trying to be loving towards me, but please stop it. I do not love you, and although I had to go through a ceremony, I do not consider you to be my wife and I don't consider myself your husband. What you're doing, caressing me like you have been, makes me very uncomfortable and I would like you to stop it."

She stared at him, aghast, and for a second he saw fury flash in her eyes before he felt the slap that nearly snapped his neck. He stared right back at her and realized that he was now considered a husband who was very strongly god who had just insulted his wife. Of course she would hit him.

"You will not speak that way to me again, Ronan," she said, wrapping him in a very tight embrace. "I told you that you would be my husband whether you wished to be or not, and now you are. You will obey me, Ronan, and if I wish to caress you, you'll allow me to. Do you understand?"

"I understand that you're angry with me, but I'm being caressed by a person who is pretty much a stranger to me," he said, persisting. "That's unsettling, being touched by someone you don't know. At least let me...get used to you." He said that last while fighting down a feeling of panic. She was giving him very little choice in this matter, and it was either pretend to acquiesce or have the life slapped out of him. This whole business was getting very ugly.

"You'll have a good chance to get used to me later tonight," she promised, releasing him.

_:That's it,:_ he heard Kira say, and in the next moment she had stomped up the steps and whuffed at the woman, angry and looking ready to fight. She was in what Stardancer referred to as "mama-bear mode." That meant that someone threatened her Herald at his own dire peril. _:How dare she insinuate something like that! Get on my back, Chosen, we're getting out of here, and to the deepest hells with being polite!:_

_:Kira, I certainly can't ride you yet,: _he reminded her. _:Your wound's not healed!:_

_:We have very good Healers in Valdemar! Let's go!:_

What happened next horrified the both of them and left Ronan certain that he was in a country full of lunatics. An arrow came out of nowhere, burying itself in the already-injured shoulder. At the same time stablehands showed up, quickly putting a halter and lead over Kira's head. Guards materialized and surrounded him to keep him from going to her, and he heard Storena give a little chuckle.

"Maybe now you'll realize that I am not to be threatened with a trained horse, Ronan. I know your feelings for this beast, and I know that I can't kill it, but I _can_ make it very uncomfortable, can't I?"

He stared at her, feeling sick. "You're mad," he choked, wishing he could pull away from the guards. "You're mad!"

"No, I'm just very, very determined," she told him, giving him a kiss. "This can be difficult or easy, and it's entirely your choice. Now, listen closely. Your valets are going to escort you upstairs now, and you and I will spend the night together, or you can stay here, not spend tonight with me, and watch your precious Companion be beaten. Which will it be?"

He was certain he was going to be ill, but he managed to choke out an answer. "I'll go upstairs," he gasped, choosing to ignore Kira's protests and pleadings.

Storena smiled, and Ronan's bodyguards arrived and began to lead him away.

_:Chosen, _no!: Kira pleaded. _:You don't have to go through that! I'll be fine, really I will, and you don't have to sacrifice yourself to that witch!:_

_:Look, we both learned about the possibility of rape or torture during our trainee days_,: he reminded her_. :You've already been _shot_ twice for me, and I'm not going to let them torture you any longer. If all it takes to get them to leave you alone is my being a little accomodating in bed, then I'm going to do it. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt anymore.:_

_:And I can't stand the thought of you being raped by this woman_!: Kira snapped_. :I'll trample her to death if she even touches you!:_

_:We both know you can't do that. That would mean war against Valdemar, and we don't know how powerful these people are militarily. It could cause a lot more trouble than we could handle. I'll be fine, Kira. I promise.:_

_:You won't be_,: Kira said mournfully_. :But I'll help you through it, Chosen.:_

_:Thanks, beloved. See you in the morning_.:

He walked between his two bodyguards/valets/watchdogs and said nothing. They led him back through the great hall, out to the stairs, up the stairs, down a hall, up some more stairs, and down yet another hall. They opened up a set of double doors, and they were at the wedding suite. It was very nice and furnished in velvet, but he wasn't much in the mood to notice decor. The two men led him to what was apparently his dressing room, and he allowed them to remove his wedding finery and wrap him in a robe. They led him back out into the bedroom and turned down the bed for him before asking him if there was anything he would like.

"Two bottles of red wine," he told them. "And a large glass."

His guards left the room, chuckling. While one stood guard at the door the other went and fetched the wine, much to Ronan's relief. Once he had the wine, Ronan uncorked a bottle and quickly drank off a glassful of it.

_:Careful, Chosen_,: Kira warned him, remembering the few times he'd been drunk_. :You know what wine does to you if you have too much.:_

_:Why do you think I asked for two bottles_?: he asked, pouring himself another glass_. :I want to be a little drunk tonight. If she doesn't make it up here before the wine puts me to sleep, that's entirely her problem. Being a little drunk won't take down my shields, so I'm not putting anyone at risk by drinking, and if it makes tonight easier, then I'm all for it. How are you, sweet?:_

_:I am safely ensconced in the stable and a healer is taking care of this new wound, looking at my old one, and muttering about mad archers_,: she said, sounding very amused_. :If it weren't for what's about to happen, I could enjoy listening to him.:_

_:I'll be fine_,: he said, trying to convince her as well as himself.

After the fourth glass of wine, he began to feel quite drunk, and he lay down and set his fifth glass on the bedside table where he could easily reach it. He shrugged out of his robe and thanked the gods above that he was still in his smallclothes. Apparently, they were for Storena to remove. That thought made him nervous and slightly sick all over again. He finished the last of his fifth glass and contemplated getting up to get some more. Then, it seemed as if the bed was far too nice to leave.

He woke at one point, but his mind wasn't clear enough to register more than that Storena was there and doing things to him that he didn't want to think about too much. If it had been someone he cared for, he might have enjoyed it, but it was Storena, the mad woman who could shoot Companions and threaten to beat them. He remained awake, but his mind was still fogged enough for everything that was happening to be at one remove from him. He knew from experience that anything that took place while he was feeling like that would be remembered when he woke. Later, his mind slipped back into sleep, but it didn't keep his body from feeling. When he next woke, there was sunlight streaming into the suite and he was alone--and naked--in the large bed. He moved, and a dozen little pains made themselves felt. Even worse was the headache threatening to pound his skull apart and a very sore throat.

That was when he heard the voice in the back of his mind, sounding as if it had been speaking for quite some time and was becoming increasingly frantic.

_:...Chosen, oh, please let me know you're all right! Why are you hurt? What's happened? Why did you scream? What did she do to you? Oh, what on earth went on? Are you even awake? Is your mind all right, I can't sense anything from you!:_

_:K-Kira?:_ he thought, trying very hard not to make his head hurt worse.

_:Chosen!:_ she all but shrieked, making him wince. _:TALK TO ME! What happened last night? Are you all right? Why am I sensing pain from you? WHAT HAPPENED???:_

_:I'm fine, just please stop shouting,:_ he pleaded, pulling a sheet over his head to block out the light that was attacking his eyes. _:I'm just fine...:_ That was when the barely-remembered moments from last night made his stomach clench, and he rushed into the bathroom to find the convenience. There, he was sicker than he could ever remember being, and he wretched each time he thought about what had happened. The beginning of it had not been all that bad, but later! Those things she had done to him...they hadn't been part of lovemaking, they'd been unadulterated torture! What was worse was that he'd been able to sense her feelings while it had been all going on. She'd enjoyed everything she'd done to him. She'd enjoyed it all!

How long he spent being sick he had no idea, but his knees gave out at some point, and when his mind began to work again he realized he was lying on the floor and weeping. His stomach, head, and throat hurt, and he wanted nothing more than a very, very hot bath. He could hear Kira talking to him, but he couldn't make sense of what she was saying.

"Easy, now," he heard a familiar--thankfully male!--voice say as a robe was wrapped around him. "It's going to be all right, Ronan."

"Aldiss?" he croaked, looking up at the man who crouched beside him.

"Yes," Aldiss said, helping him to sit up. "It's me. I know it's hard right now, but I'll help you."

Just then, Aldiss' words reminded him just _what_ was hard, and he was crouched over the convenience again, wretching so hard that he was sure his spine would snap. Aldiss kept talking, telling him that he was all right now, and that he would feel better soon, he just had to keep breathing.

Somehow, the next time his mind cleared, he was sitting in a tub full of very hot water and Aldiss was helping him wash. A sudden thought made him start shaking, and he was so frightened he couldn't tell his friend what it was. Finally, he managed to choke out what was bothering him.

"She's going to want to do that again."

Aldiss nodded. "Unfortunately, that's all too likely. We'll have to think of some way to keep it from happening."

"How?" Ronan moaned. "She'll hurt Kira if I say no!"

"I don't know yet, but trust me, I've been thinking about it since last night," Aldiss told him, helping him to rinse off. "I was in the garden last night, and I saw and heard everything. To hell with that woman, I'm getting you and Kira out of here!"

"Kira can't go far," Ronan said as Aldiss helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. "She's been shot twice."

"Well, we'll get her away until she's well enough to travel, and then we'll get the both of you out. We'll think of something."

Ronan didn't remember getting dressed, but the next thing he knew, he had clothes on and was sitting on a couch across from Aldiss. He knew he should have been making plans as energetically as Aldiss was, but his mind refused to work. All he could do was sit there and fight off a feeling that he was going to shake himself apart in a few minutes. He was trembling, but he knew he was going to shake if he thought about last night too much. So, he didn't. He asked after Neran and Aldiss' lady-love, and he asked Aldiss if he'd been down to see Kira at all.

"I went to see her after I reported in this morning," he told the Herald, worried by the lack of color in his friend's face. "She spoke to me."

"She _did_?" Ronan asked, shocked. That made Aldiss the first human she'd spoken to who was not her Herald. "What did she say?"

"She begged me to come and make sure you were all right, and she said that you were in some kind of shock. I'd say she was right about that. Do you think you can walk? She wants me to bring you down to the stables if you feel well enough."

"Of course!" Ronan said, getting to his feet. "Let's go now!" He longed to feel her smooth hide and her greeting _whuff_ blow his hair back from his face. He wanted to see her eyes looking into his and hear her voice up close.

Aldiss walked with him out of the suite, startling the servants who sat there, presumably waiting for the Herald to ring for them.

"Consort Ronan is going to the stables, and he does not wish to be disturbed for any reason," Aldiss said, fixing a steely glare on all three men. "If Her Majesty comes, please tell her that the Consort will return after assuring himself that his Companion is all right." The three bowed, and soldier and Herald left.

Together, Aldiss and Ronan made their way through the palace and outside, to where the gardens and the nearby stable waited. They reached it without encountering anyone else, and once they were inside and Ronan saw Kira standing in her stall, he let out a choked cry and vaulted _over_ the stall door and the next thing Aldiss knew, the Herald had buried his face in Kira's crest and was sobbing.

_:It's all right,:_ Kira said, tenderly nuzzling her Herald. That nuzzle gave him the feeling that warm, protective, and loving arms had been put around him. _:I'm here, Chosen. I love you. I'm right here, and we're going to get through this.:_

_:I'm sorry I worried you, love,:_ he told her once his mind was working.

_:You don't have anything to apologize for!:_ she snapped. _:She should be apologizing to you! How are you feeling?:_

He considered that. How _was_ he feeling? He really wasn't sure, but he was certain that he'd been better.

_:Chosen? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what was it that made you scream last night? What did she do to you?:_

He thought about that. There were a few things she'd done to him that would make any man scream, but there was one thing that had horrified him more than anything and the memory of it nearly made him scream again. _:She enjoyed hurting me like she did,:_ he said at last. _:I could feel it. She was punishing me by doing all of those things to me, and she was enjoying doing it. That was what made me scream.:_

A burst of emotion was Kira's only answer. There was outrage, anger, fury, sadness at what had happened, and a fierce and protective love for her Herald that made him weep again, but this time it was from love for her. She sat down in the straw and invited him to sit with her, and he was more than happy to do so. He needed no encouragement to lean against her and she curled around him as if he were foal. Ronan had not felt so protected or secure since he'd been a little: it was as if he had gone to the stables to be comforted after a nightmare. Slowly, his eyes closed, and he began to sleep; this time, however, it was a sleep of healing.

When he woke, Kira was there, nuzzling him on the cheek. _:Good morning, sleepy one,:_ he heard. _:Nerys is here.:_

That statement alone made him smile, and he got to his feet to greet her. "Good morning," he said, incredibly happy that she was there.

She chuckled, covering her smile with one hand. "It's afternoon, my lord," she said, curtseying. "Congratulations on your marriage."

_That_ made him remember, and he felt his smile fade. "Rather offer your condolences, miss," he said, fighting for some of his old mood. "I hate that woman, and a forced marriage is no marriage at all."

She stared at him in shock. "I--I--I..." she trailed off. "If you hate her, and you're married to her, then..."

"What am I going to do now?" he asked. "I don't know, but I'll think of something. It's good to see you, though. You're quite a sight to wake up to."

He felt a wave of intense amusement from Kira. _:Why, Chosen! I do believe you have learned to flirt!:_

_:Well, how many stallions have you cozied up to in your time?:_ he countered. _:Before things became too heated for a young Trainee and you closed me out, the things you said to all of them were quite an education for me.:_

Kira spluttered, surprised at her Herald's sudden audacity. Then, she was laughing. Once Nerys heard it, her eyes grew very wide and she stared at them, moving her eyes from one to the other. Finally, she seemed unable to stand hearing what she couldn't fathom. "She's laughing!"

"Yes," Ronan said, fighting off laughter himself. "I said something that amused her."

She looked at Kira and then looked at him again. "Oh."

_:Kira, could you...?:_

Kira went quiet and looked at Nerys, and then Nerys gasped and stared at her. She kept staring, and Ronan was sure that the girl's eyes were going to fall out of her skull at any moment and then roll across the floor.

_:I told her that I like to laugh when something is amusing,:_ Kira told him after a minute. _:I explained Mindspeech to her, and right now she's slowly beginning to comprehend it. She's got a good Mindspeaking ability, thank goodness.:_ She stopped to laugh, and then she spoke again to him. _:She just said that she's never spoken like this before, but that she likes it, and she loves the fact that she can talk to me. Also, she said that if I've told you anything she's told me about you she'll never speak to me or bring me carrots or apples again.:_

Ronan laughed while Kira reassured her that she could keep a secret. "She hasn't told me a thing," Ronan said. "Although I have to say that now I'm curious what it is you two ladies have been talking about! Would _you_ care to share?"

Nerys blushed. "No, not really," she said. "But I'll share one thing with you. I thought you two looked awfully sweet curled up together like you were."

Now it was Ronan's turn to blush. "Well, whenever I was upset as a little, I could count on comfort and cuddling from Kira. She's first rate at making everything better."

_:Oh, now you're fibbing,:_ Kira told him. _:I remember your first broken heart. You were miserable for weeks!:_

_:Why bring that up?:_ Ronan asked, turning to stare at her.

_:I'm just saying,:_ she said, getting to her feet.

Ronan and Nerys talked a while longer about nothing in particular, and Ronan was enjoying himself and feeling strangely cheerful when Aldiss came into the barn, looking very regretful at breaking things up.

"I'm sorry, Ronan, but a page has just arrived with a message from the queen, and she says that you're to return to the wedding suite right now," he said, sounding annoyed. "She wants to talk to you."

Ronan groaned. "I wonder if I could convince her I've gone mad and now think I'm a horse," he said, giving Kira a hug and a kiss on the muzzle. "I'll be back later, love."

"I could spread a rumor that I saw you out in the pasture grazing," Nerys offered, giving him a wink. "That could help."

"I'll think about it," he said, taking her hand in a gesture that was so natural that he was surprised. "I'll see you again soon, Nerys, if I may?"

She smiled, and he took that for an affirmative. He was able to leave the stable with a light heart, but as they approached the wedding suite it grew heavier. If she wanted what he was afraid she wanted...

She was waiting for him, seated in a chair and turning listlessly through a book. She looked up as he came in and closed the door behind him. "Ronan, I want to talk to you," she said, standing.

"So the page said," he said, looking at her. "What is it?"

She motioned him to a chair, but he did not take it. Ignoring that slight disobedience, she began to speak. "I wanted to apologize for last night," she said, surprising him. "I hurt you in order to punish you. You see, I was very happy, and when you spoke to me that way out on the verandah, I was furious and very upset. I didn't understand that I could be so happy while you were miserable. I thought if I were loving toward you you might gain some feeling toward me, but I think I expected too much too quickly. You were right in wanting to wait, in wanting to get to know one another. Even worse, I'd told you that I would help you enjoy our wedding night, and all I did was hurt you. I'm sorry, and I would like to make it up to you."

He stared at her and thought very carefully before speaking. "Your behavior last night was sadistic," he said, finally choosing to be direct. "It not only hurt my body, it hurt my mind. I could feel how you felt while you were doing those things to me, and the fact that you enjoyed them just makes me feel very, very sick." At her concerned movement towards him he held up a hand. "No. I don't think I could stand having you touch me right now," he said. "I really don't think I could."

"What can I do?" she asked, beginning to cry. "I want to help you feel better..."

"Then learn how not to do those things," he told her. "That will make me feel better."

"I still want to be a wife to you," she said, and he felt his stomach tighten.

He thought for a moment. "What do you mean by 'wife?'" he asked. "If you mean a companion, we could try that, but I don't think I could handle you as a lover. Not right now."

She nodded eagerly. "We'll start the way you wanted to, by getting to know one another first," she said. "I promise, I won't touch you unless you let me. Could we start being friends now?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, uncertain.

"Oh, just lunch together, and then we'll open our wedding gifts. After that I have afternoon court, so you'll have the rest of the day to yourself."

_:She's in the palm of your hand, Chosen,:_ Kira said, sounding very smug. _:I'm enjoying listening to her squirm.:_

_:So am I,:_ he admitted unabashedly. "All right," he said at last. "We can try a bit now."

She looked pathetically grateful, and Ronan realized that maybe things weren't going to be so bad for a while. There was just one worry that bothered him. _Where_ was Stardancer?


End file.
